Posted by: ButterflyMoms | June 2, 2010

DIAPER LOVE….The SILENT NETWORK OF KINDNESS :)


One of my biggest teachers in today's lesson!

Yesterday we went to Mass General in Boston for what we hoped would be my husband’s last appointment. He fell ill two years ago and after being hospitalized for a week, severe headaches, internal bleeding, surgery, going blind twice, joint pain, being on high level of steroids, losing weight (because he was sick) and then gaining weight (because of the steroids), getting chemo, getting chemo again, this was his last appointment!!! YAY!!!!!!!

We went with our two youngest girls to the hospital. Isabella, 2,  is still in diapers and after a weekend in NY where they sometimes forgot she was lactose intollerant, she now had raging diarhhea. To add to this adventurous story, because our minds were on something else (Doug’s appointment’s outcome), we also forgot the diaper bag! YAY!!!!!!! That is a BIG  I-N-C-O-M-I-N-G!!!! Doug had just changed her diaper before and that had been her third one that day so we thought we was safe…..maybe????!….PLEASE GOD, PLEASE! 😉

No such luck! As we were waiting for the doctor I noticed my lap was getting wet (I can hear your “uhhhhh’s” from here my beautiful ButterflyMoms because you know what is coming!)  So I excused myself and immediately shift into “CREATIVE SOLUTION MODE”! Now, because Doug is in with his doctor, I, of course, by default have both girls 4 and 2 to “ride” with me on this adventure! These are the moments when if you look hard enough you see that the universe has a very deep sense of humor! 🙂 So why not go with it!

First, to the bathroom where I clean both of us as much as possible. Luckily they had paper towels and not those blow dry machines. It would have been “challenging”, at best, o use those in this situation! I start eyeing extra new plastic bags hanging over the side of the trash can wondering if I can McGyver a diaper with that and paper towels but see almost immediately how that could horribly backfire.

Back in the hospital I ask some hospital staff where I can get diapers. “All I need is one, ” I say hoping they will let me know of a secret stash in the children’s wing, but instead they suggest the gift shop. “Ok,” I thought, I really like their gift shop. It is a very happy place for me. Although it’s small, they do a great job with it. I had used it many a time in the past two years to run away from Doug’s ICKY diagnosises to a land of pretty things. I never remember seeing diapers there but I was also not looking. I take my girls and head down the escalator.

At the gift shop I’m directed to go across and down the impossibly busy street to the nearest CVS. They would have diapers. The smell from the diaper is starting to waft again. I begin making a mental Mama calculation that attempting to cross might not be a safe idea with two very squirmy kids. As I head back into the gigantic lobby I instinctually begin looking for moms. I find one almost immediately with a cute little boy in a dark blue stroller. He looks like his diaper size would be too small but you work with what you have. I approach the mom feeling at first very uncomfortable like I’m asking her for her first born instead of just a diaper. When I realize how silly that is I relax.

She is a very kind looking woman probably in her early to mid 30’s (although I should not guess because if she ever reads this blog…trouble ;)) She pauses, asks if a 6 would fit and hands me her last diaper. Most of us could use practice in asking for what we want and even more importantly for Mamas is the receiving part. That is a whole other can of worms we will not open on this day but you know that it has to do with your feeling like you deserve to be here and that your needs are important.

I thanked this beautiful ButterflyMom profusely. I told her to check the blog because I was going to write about her. I hope she does because she is instrumental in the rest of us getting the message that we are connected. There is a vast and wonderful community made up of us, ButterflyMoms, that we are sometimes afraid to access. I felt happy and safe and connected to the world after our simple interaction. Look for these moments where you can both give and receive. Connect with other ButterflyMoms on that soul-full level. Share your experiences here. I can promise you it feels better than the even THE best slice of chocolate cake EVAHHHHHHHH!

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Responses

  1. I’m still laughing~

  2. Hi there!

    I’m the woman who gave you the diaper on Tuesday. Funny how something so inconsequential as a diaper can make such a difference in one’s day 🙂 I’m so happy that I was able to assist you in your time of need (& as a mother, I’m not sure it gets more desperate than situations like that!). We have certainly all been there…I hope someone is there for me too one day when I could use some help!

    I’m so happy for you & your family that your husband is healthy after what sounds like quite the ordeal.

    Great blog! Keep up the good work! We mothers -do- need to stick together!

    Best,
    Lisa

    p.s. And I must thank you for underestimating my age – as a mom of a 3 1/2 year old, a 1 1/2 year old & another on the way next month, that was a nice compliment. (I will be 39 in August).

  3. I have given diapers and wipes to moms AND dads in need! And… I too have had to ask for help with magically producing a diaper when all are gone from the diaper bag, from the car, and from the bottom of the stroller. We all have birth stories. We all have poopy stories too. It’s fun to be in this together- b/c we’d lose our sanity if we were on an island doing this alone. Love to my Ria.


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