Posted by: ButterflyMoms | March 11, 2011


Happy Friday Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

For most of my life I lived behind such a deceptive MASK that I, myself, did not realize it was not “ME” but the shadow of me. The MASK was there to put on a protective layer from the outside world. I grew up in a home where feelings of SHEAR TERROR, HORROR and SHAME where part of the landscape. I did not CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE my MASK, rather it happened as a survival mechanism most likely before I was even verbal. The family I came through, although sometimes VERY LOVING, was also not always “SAFE”. As I grew it was into adulthood I could not distinguish where the MASK ended and where I began. I would have glimpses of the REAL ME but if I’m to be honest, it never lasted very long. This would surprise the “me from back then” because I THOUGHT I WAS being real.

This is where a lot of people trip up…Getting close to feelings can be a tricky thing because you CANNOT separate the “good” feeling ones from the “bad”. Feelings just come all mixed in together so if you turn off the “ickie” ones you automatically turn off the “WOW-WOW-WOW” ones. And honestly, the ickie ones are not that bad compared to how bad they are if you let them rot, grow and fester in your life (nice visual, eh? – thought you’d like it ;)) When blocked for long enough feelings can eventually come very much like a TSUNAMI…but that is only because it is releasing a lot of trapped energy.

My MASK almost always checked in before I spoke, felt or thought. What started as an organic coping mechanism soon turned into my very own jailor. I see in my work that is how it is for most of us. It is through AWARENESS that we can CHOOSE to stay with our MASK or not but I, at least, would like to be given that choice.

I was watching Meredith Baxter (formerly Meredith Baxter-Bernie) doing an interview. She was the TV mom on FAMILY TIES with Michael J. Fox. It was such an amazing gift to see myself in her. Meredith shared that she was brought up to be a “good girl”, to do as she was told. Her MASK, in order to keep her “safe”, kept her from ever FEELING her very own essence. In doing, so she spent almost all of her adult life in degrading and abusive situations. Why? Because she had turned off ALL her feelings, she was getting feedback but Meredith, like many of us had turned off the FEEDBACK MECHANISM that is within each of us. We call them FEELINGS. It would be the same thing is you lost feelings in your finger tips. If you touched something hot you would do a lot more damage because there was nothing to tell you pull your hand back…until you smelled flesh burning. I don’t know about you but I would much rather FEEL! 😉 (it’s a LOT less messier…at least in the long run!!! 😉 )

When I saw Meredith on the screen I could tell how NEW this thing called HAPPINESS felt to her. Meredith looked like a baby getting used to its body. Her smile when she spoke of her partner was contagious because you could see that is was AUTHENTIC. It was authentic  because she was being VULNERABLE. Being vulnerable gave her the ability to live in the present which if you really think about it is the ONLY way you can be happy. You might think about a fond memory in the past but where you FEEL it is in the present.

No matter how old you are, it is NEVER too late to be authentic! The key is to start where you are, nothing more, nothing less.  Take a moment feeling this statement….(wait for it, wait for it….”IF YOU ARE BUSY BEING SOMEONE ELSE THAN WHO IS BEING YOU?

I LOVE YOU! Thank you for holding a sacred place where I finally have found the courage to start unfolding my wings. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! May the ButterflyMoms  community do the same for you!

Great big hugs,



Disaster Prevention Training PS Today’s ButterflyMoms is dedicated to the BEAUTIFUL people of Japan whom I feel in love with in 1989 when I lived there in Kanazawa, Ishikawa-ken, about 8 hours northwest of Tokyo. I heard just a few minutes ago of their devastating earthquake and tsunami. My heart goes out to them and I ask you for your prayers and good vibrations especially to all those who are suffering right now. May our good energy bring them much solace.


PPS Slow book week ButterflyMoms, only one book sold. Hop on the train of the happy ButterflyMoms who have bought one! Just click here… To order now go to

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When you buy a book you represent your area. Let’s see where all the ButterflyMoms live!!! :)! This is FUN! To buy your copy Click here now…

Mark your calendars to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday! 🙂



  1. again, you have touched a piece of me that God has been dealing with….and it’s interesting that you write this today, as i take a step, in faith, to be free…to be the me that God has created me to be, and not just little pieces of who i was meant to be!
    may we all gain strength in knowing freedom can be found!
    and my prayers, also, for the people of japan, and the other areas affected by the ripples of this tragedy! peace and comfort in the days ahead be theirs!!
    BEAUTIFUL maria, you are loved!

  2. Maria it is so true about those Masks ! I again thank you for feeding my soul and make me think about those mask which i don’t want anymore…I always just wanted people to see me and like me for who i am and what i stand for…Your the Best !!

  3. took me at least 40 years to find the authentic me…. still fighting to stay true! thanks beautiful beautiful maria

  4. I saw YOU when I met you and continue to delight in the extraordinary woman/ Mommy/ friend you are. Thank you for the weekly checks- you are doing great work, Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Beautiful Kataleanie,

      You fill my heart with SUCH joy! Thank you for sharing this!

      Great big hugs, Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 🙂

      Maria Salomão-Schmidt Brick House Realty Making the world a better place one home at a time!

      If you want to be inspired check this out…

       Before printing this e-mail – think if it is necessary. Think Green Baby!

  5. My dearest Mary. I miss you every day in my mind and although we are connected. But it would be nice if I could talk to you in real life and see every day. But patience!

    WOOW … The favorite theme of human that is applied every day, whether good or bad, that must decide for themselves. But I think it’s good to talk about it and write a few thoughts from the dear soul.

    1. It is now clear. An honest internal meeting (love) with itself in the heart and soul of the need to have no mask. If you like the honest values and feelings toward others are aware, we have nothing to hide.
    As long time I can remember and I have always tried an honest, generous and modest human being. Allso in such a loving situation is no place a mask over her face to have. But in my past, there have been times where my loving generosity and honest approach to life, easily used and exploited was aware of my fellow human beings.
    Through this magnificent experience, has inside my soul and loving heart sometimes closed. The pain of love was great, that has evolved over time to a certain self-protective mechanism. At the same time not to re afraid to pull an internal injury to the loving soul again and have come from other human. Masks provide protection in the area and facilitate the management of feelings in society. We all want to be loved as we are. At the same time we have to be recognized fear.
    2. Between two people where love lives really honestly have nothing to hide themselves. So they like to put off their mask and give themselves the way they are now even. Everyone loves the other the good as well as his weaker side. Provided – both trust each other and never forget the harmony. This is also evident in the image of harmony between man and creation.
    PS: It will depend very future of how sensitively we treat our world order, which is our co-world!
    3. Finally. I am still of the opinion that we have to work on our self-esteem. With this behavior, we draw these people to actually. For us it is like that on your forehead (not) use it to tell love from the heart, we embody the self-fulfilling prophecy.

    PS: Talk to your the power of your thoughts about this situation and ask you to help you something. If you are you can do but feel safe … or not? to show you and your new settings honest chance you admit it to see how you really are, namely sweet and honest. … etc … Have trust in yourself …
    Great big hugs, Hilldeeeeeeeeeeeeee ♥ ♥

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