Posted by: ButterflyMoms | April 8, 2011

WILL YOU GET A KIND JUDGE?


Happy Friday Morning Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

So last week I asked that if you read this blog to leave a sign that you were here, whether it be to leave a comment, hit the “like” button at the bottom or rate it at the top. A few more than usual spoke out, some for the first time but most, more than 90%, quietly read and then went on with their day. There is no “good” or “bad” here just an observation. I observe the same thing in our society at large. It might be that people feel sooooooooooo overwhelmed that they simply move into WATCHING mode instead of fully participating in life. Maybe it is because most of us watch so much TV that we have been CONDITIONED to simply “observe” the world and process in our minds. In our minds we think of things to do but then we quickly add them to our MENTAL TO DO LIST where we all know most things honestly disappear forever. We remember it every once in a while but only just enough to produce more guilt and anxiety to add to our lives for not having yet done anything about the situation. DEEP BREATH HERE TO CLEAR THE ICKIES. REMEMER TO STAY IN WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW AND NOT HAVE TO FIX IT. BREATHE……………..FEELS GOOD TO JUST BE! 🙂

Life was meant to live in the RIGHT NOW. Just like most things worth doing, like WALKING and TALKING, they did not come overnight, no matter who you are. They took time and the right environment for you to be able to accomplish these abilities. Now that I have these abilities I oftentimes forget what a gift they are. It’s on to the next thing…our lives become a trail of all this magical things for which we slowly lose the gratitude over time. Our kids are a PERFECT mirror of that. Kids are bombarded with things without being given the gifts of striving, gratefulness, appreciation…. Many times I hear parents blaming the children, “You don’t appreciate anything you have. You just throw everything all over the place and keep asking for more.” WE, THE PARENTS, are creating this environment for our kids. If they were a caterpillar in a cocoon they would be the caterpillars whose parents cut them out because they could not bear to see their dear child “suffer” and then hired a tutor or trainer to work out their offspring’s issues. 😉 The number of kids with IEPs (individual educational plans) are staggering. Again, this is not a blame game it is an observation, a check in to see if this is where we want to be, might not or it might be. It is only with checking in with life that we can bring the AWARENESS we need to shift our lives. This week I wish you THE GIFT OF AWARENESS WITH DETACHED JUDGEMENT….play with that this week for yourself and others.

ROCK ON BUTTERFLYMOMS!!!!!!!!!!!

Great big hugs,

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS   Thanks for everyone who came to the MANIFEST YOUR DREAMS NOW! Workshop. It was an amazing experience!!! We will definitely do it again!

PPS The “Book Gods” came back this week and helped me sell one more book this week to my neighbor Lisa Kaplan who has been meaning to buy the book! THANKS LISA!! I have to admit this is a bit harder than I thought! 😉 I ask that you buy you and your best friend a copy! Just click here… To order now go to http://bit.ly/gRxe4U. Don’t fly under the radar…BE REPRESENTED!

Here is where the books have gone to ButterflyMoms…

UNITED STATES

California

Sacramento 1

Connecticut

Yalesville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Holliston 7

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

South Grafton 1

Worcester 3

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

When you buy a book you represent your area. Let’s see where all the ButterflyMoms live!!! :)! This is FUN! To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday! 🙂

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Responses

  1. Good Morning Maria,
    I will try to observe myself non-judgementally this week. Thanks for the reminder.
    Becky

    • Thanks for being the VERY FIRST person to respond this week Beautiful Becky!!! YAY! I would suggest you take the word “try” out of your sentence because it sabotages your intention. MWAH!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Dear maria,
    I have heard such wonderful things about you from my H.S. BBF, your neighbor, Linda K. ❤ She said if I met in the grocery store you would embrace me like a very old wonderful friend 🙂 I love that! Would love to meet you sometime, I haven't stayed on top of reading your site like I SHOULD…7 weeks ago today I lost my best friend,kindred spirit, souldmate, girlfriend to suicide~It's been a tough road and nothing like this grief,pain and sorrow. I can only imagine losing a child as you have has had it's own 'life of it's own'. I am having a hard time with others and how it all becomes the elephant in the closet. Sorry if I shared too much, something about you makes the sharing feel safe~
    My best, Jane Regan

    • Beautiful Jane, Thank you for sharing your authenticity with the world! It is not too much. It is exactly what it is. lt is not our job to make the world “swallow-able” for others. Honestly it takes up too much energy and there is soooo much exploring and growing and experiencing to do on this planet! Don’t get distracted by DENSE experiences!! 😉 I can’t wait to meet you beautiful Jane!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAH!!!!!!! Come by Brick House Realty for a hug and a talk! 🙂

      • Thank you, thank you for Blessing me today. I would love to stop in sometime and meet you 🙂

  3. pain is such a big part of our walk on this earth. but out of it comes such wisdom, growth and freedom that could only have been gotten from the struggle….may we all evolve into the persons that God created us to be…and pass that legacy down to our children…and allow them the freedom to struggle….to grow…to learn…to live!!! God’s glorious sunshine on all!!!
    and jane, thank you for sharing your heart’s struggle! you will be in my prayers.
    and maria, thank you for being….what a blessing to so many!!!! (including me!)

    • I know I am where I am in my walk of Faith and growth because of life’s ups and downs. Having 3 children still in the nest, this death of my/our family friend has impacted them very much. I am trying to do the best for them to actually get them through it and not stuff it. There is no gauge or guide map here as some of you may know. Flying by the seat of my pants here but reaching out where ever I can. Thank you for supporting me. 🙂

  4. So well written and expressed. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Once again, thank you for your blog, always makes me take a deep breath and settle into my body. Love you and cant wait to see you soon, Love you, Vicki

    • Every time each of us takes an extra breath it lightens our whole planet. Thanks for making the world a better place beautiful Vicki!!! MWAH!!!!!!

  6. Thank you for bringing up the subject of how we expect our children to appreciate gifts when we shower them with everything they think they want. I wish that parents were required to take a parenting course. We are creating another generation of helicopter and tiger parents. Instead, children need to learn to take responsibility for themselves. We need to learn that little Emma’s homework assignment is not OUR responsibility. We need to be tread more lightly – like a butterfly.

  7. Great post. It is true we have been quiet observers…what would happen if we all took some massive ACTION? Thanks for sharing.

  8. hi. just hi, letting you know i am out here reading along. if i/we don’t respond it certainly does not mean that we are not appreciating your huge kindness and wisdom, just means that some days it is nice to let it flow over you and not add the “reply” button to the to do list. i hope this does not sound callous. sometimes not participating reduces the stress. i am a working mom trying to cut back. i think it shows…. sorry.

  9. I Love it Maria !! Your Forever a Friend to Many !!
    Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times an dthe confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend hold your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.

  10. Maria,

    You forgot to include me in Arlington as having bought your book! I think you are right about the observing thing. We all need to participate more in life….

    It a cool book everyone!!! Buy it!

    Linda D.

    • You are right! II will put down Arlington right now! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
      Great big hugs!
      Mariaaaaaaa
      🙂

  11. hello. i can’t say i agree with Donna…the “light touch” tends to just get ignored by kids. Butterflies just float over their heads! Parents are meant to be nags, so just accept it. We are not their best friends, we are there moms and dads!!! at least, until they’re grown up, then maybe we are their best friends, maybe not. I TOTALLY don’t believe in being a “helicopter” parent (but i don’t know what a Tiger one is!!)…i believe in giving kids responsiblity. But that doesn’t mean they just step up and take it!!!
    I agree with you, Maria, about the sadness and etent of the IEPs. I work in a school district…with Special Ed kids…the ones with IEPs. Unfortunately, a lot of it is caused by drugs/alcohol. But there are MASSIVE amounts of kids affected. 😦
    and i don’t know that gratitude or ingratitude plays any part in that. But i do think it is easier to be grateful when you have less than when you have everything given to you, yes. I know we are poor, and we are so grateful for what we have!…especially each other.
    Love to you, and to all you Butterfly Moms…and Dads! ❤

  12. ** Hi Maria here are always topics of interest in stock. GET A WAY TO JUDGE?

    1. I’ve had in the past, a fun experience. The less I evaluate and judge other people, the more I like my own suffering.
    Conversely, it works the same way: If I catch myself as I think about someone, then that is often a sign that I’m somehow out of balance. And then I get impatient with my own
    PS: But important. Easy to see with the eyes, they interpret, evaluate and judge them according to their own experiences, continuously and at any moment. The heart is independent of the eyes, it is independent of personal perceptions, it is independent of personal experience and evaluate it feels, it all looks with kind eyes, it shows the love. And only with the love / can be seen.

    2. Life was determined in the right now live:
    The example shows also considered from a broader perspective that life is a wave – a perpetual On & Ab If you internalize it, you know that will come after the ex always on.
    This is reflected in the same time thinking: Positive thought for me to think in creative solutions. It means “There is always a way and a solution for every problem that is just a new challenge to deal with him and the way to go simply to accept and let go, to enjoy the whole heart and soul. 🙂

    Thank you, thank you for blessing me today. I am grateful for you for everything.


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