Posted by: ButterflyMoms | June 10, 2011

SHATTERED HEARTS…In Memory of our Beloved Mandy Heliotis!


Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

This week’s housekeeping issues will be at the end…in honor of our beloved Mandy Heliotis, our shooting star!

Today my heart has been once again shattered into a thousand pieces. I ask that as you enter today’s blog you take eight super-deep BREATHS! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 aaaaaand………..8! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Breathing helps you move through the pain of things. It helps you process and stay connected to the meaning instead of just the pain.

On Wednesday morning the phone begin to ring at 3am…at first the news and our state of mind was foggy. There had been a horrific car crash, Mandy, our beloved niece had been badly hurt and had been airlifted. We stopped breathing. We began praying/begging that she be fine to any gods that were listening. A little while later the words you would give anything not to hear…She is dead 😦 Our beautiful beloved 26 year old niece was ripped out of her life in an instant by a drunk driver who hit them head on. Mandy lived a lot in her short life but she had sooooooooooooo much more living left to do! It seems almost too much to bear. Our hearts feel like they have shattered. To be honest I’m having a hard time deciding to write in the present or past tense and that hurts. I don’t want to use words like SHE WAS. I want to say SHE IS!!!!

Mandy always attended the games of her younger cousins. They adore her!!!

Tears blind me, breath escapes me, my chest tightens, groans come from deep inside. I feel like I want to throw up much of the time now. Thinking about it is sometime too painful. I think about her. I replay Mandy’s last moments. I wish you could have been there to change the outcome. I wish you could have stopped it. I think about her friend who was driving and only got a broken leg. I pray that she does not blame herself. I pray that she is eventually able to heal this event in her life…seems like such a colossal request right now. I think about the last time we saw each other , Mandy and I. I think about the last time we spoke. I feel in awe of the fact that her photo with Sophia was in the News Center 5 piece that Susan Wornick did for ABC. To see it go to www.butterflymoms.com and check out the WATCH section. I spoke to her about it about a week ago. Mandy said she loved it!

Throbbing heartache rips through Mandy’s immediate family, through our families into our extended families and friends. Everyone feels the loss. If you ever met Mandy you would know why. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Beautiful Mandy! She IS AUTHENTIC and REAL. Mandy had an eye (and a hand) for art and photography. She IS KIND. Even out of her body SHE IS STILL ALL ABOUT LOVE! Mandy honored both the dark and the light sides of herself and at SUCH a young age brought incredible amounts of beauty into the world. When someone does that, you miss them even more. ;( I feel like the world got a little dimmer when her soul left planet earth. I am certainly not the only one!

Our beautiful Mandy

Grief is such a powerful thing. It can cut you at the knees. It affects us on every level if we let it. The parts we cut off from the grief are the parts that will eventually give us or biggest pain. I have learned with Sophia’s death that it all comes in waves…Sometimes I cannot bear living another moment and other times I just feel the love and gratitude for having been loved and had the honor of loving such a magnificent soul!  Mandy, sweetie, you are a MAGNIFICENT SOUL! We miss you already!

I am deeply grateful and deeply humble by all the outpouring of LOVE LOVE LOVE from those of you who sent their condolences! Thank you for reaching out. In lieu of flowers her beloved mom, dad and sisters ask that in lieu of flowers you give a donation in Mandy Heliotis’ name to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

PS  Here are this week’s important housekeeping issues….

*Thank you to everyone who came last night to the ButterflyMoms Manifestation Class. A special thank you to the beautiful Kerri Miller, the beautiful Denise Gidopoulos, the beautiful Kären Humphrey, the beautiful Gaynor Greenberg, the beautiful Jennifer Burgett and the beautiful Susan Carlson who came to the workshop and helped me deal with my grief by being present with that energy and allowing it to move wherever it needed to go. If you feel stuck or like you want to move forward but keep hitting ROADBLOCKS then come next week to our spectacular workshop. We make it at 8pm so you can put your kids to bed or get out of work with plenty of time to show up. Everyone says they’re learning the tools they can use to start moving towards her heart’s desire! 🙂 The group has asked that we meet again so I’m extending this invitation to you. We’re meeting next Thursday, June 16th, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Easy to get to on Route 16 and plenty of FREE parking in back. Cost is only $25 at the door (you still need to pre-register because space is limited) or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . It’s a simple first step…so grab on to it! J

*My computer’s motherboard is still in Wisconsin getting fixed…BREATHE. Sometimes in life things take longer that you expected/wanted but letting go is the best way. I‘ve been without access to my files in almost 3 months and I am just observing and letting go, ESPECIALLY when I feel the Land of Should creep in!!!! 😉

*The www.butterflymoms.com website is still a work in progress. Again, thank you for bearing with me. For right now it is what it is. ;)…Gentle reminder again to SURRENDER! 😉

One book sold this week to the lovely Kat Malone. Thanks beautiful Kat! The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Holliston 11

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

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Responses

  1. Maria,
    Please add me to the registration list for June 16. I’ll drop a check off at the store this weekend.

    My heart goes out to your family for another sad loss. My son is 25, so it really hits home. Mandy and Sophia are flying amid the butterflies.

  2. My heart goes out to you and your family, Maria…Mandy must have been such a beautiful, wonderful woman…words cannot express how sorry and sad I am for your loss…I wish I could give you great big hugs…

  3. Lose is such a tough thing to go threw,,,,And even harder when they are young…I can’t imagine losing a daughter or son at any age……..My heart goes out to everyone !!

    But your right Maria,,,Sophia and Mandy are probable hanging out with my Mom who is sitting next to god watching over all of us !! Angels !!

  4. My heart goes out to you and your family. We suddenly and unexpectedly lost somebody through work this past February. We had seen her on a Thursday and found out on Monday that she passed away over the weekend. I’m still dealing with the loss, so I can only imagine what you’re going through.

  5. My deepest sympathy and condolences go out to the entire family during this devasting time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Haydee and Family
    NYC

  6. I am so very sorry to hear about Mandy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of her family and friends.

  7. Maria, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful neice Mandy. It is so tragic; I am sending love and prayers to the entire family. Thank you for being able to share with us. Love, Bunny

  8. M – I can’t make the June 16th class, please let me know when the next on is so that I can register. I’m so excited to take this class.

    Thinking of you this weekend and sending you all loving energy. Love Karen

  9. I am so sorry. What an totally senseless tragedy. WHY? Where is God in this?
    I have , so far, been spared such pain of so much loss in my life. I have lost people but never so sadly .
    Please accept my prayers and good energy sent to all of her loved ones.

    Love Kristen

  10. Hi! my name is Alexandra, I was a friend of Mandy’s, I am from Mexico City and met her at college because I came as an exchange student. I cant really believe that she is gone. We meet last Sunday night to say good bye, because she was going to Austin and I am going back home next Tuesday.
    She was the best artist that I ever knew, and an authentic friend and person. I really love Mandy and I will keep a coaster with an elephant on it that she sign for me that night we said goodbye to each other before she left.
    She was one of the best persons that I met here in Santa Fe.

    I just want to send all my energy and love for her family and friends.
    Can I have an e-mail of any family so I can send pictures for her memorial?

    • Beautiful Alexandra,

      I’m oh-so-proud to say that Mandy is my niece. She is one of my favorite people! This is a huge shock and heartbreak to all of us. I’m soooo happy you reached out beautiful Alexandra! If you would like to email me directly please do so at maria@butterflymoms.com.

      Please stay in touch and let me know how you live your life from here on. Will this close your life or will you use the beauty that Mandy inspired in all of us and use it to make your “walk” on planet earth the best example that you can?

      Sending you great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  11. Loving Preface: I know. So much valuable time we spend together daily and you are always there, with the loving relationship to me. It makes me happy with you and assign the soul so wonderful. I thank you from my heart, what do you do anything for me.

    1.WoW. This week, a beautiful love letter for my heart and soul, written with great care of you. I compared with other letters, is a love letter I’ve read most often and most re-read letter from me.
    Really. Now I want this week just trying to breathe deeply, in a ten-step rhythm that is in fact help me to answer everything. Because my heart has a short stop from sheer excitement, it will allow gleaming eyes of happiness and tears in my eyes, true and honest love.
    The luck of the high times that I experience that I died in a car accident.
    It sounds like a story we like from a thousand and one nights. I died and although I am a person with so much love full of life and I want to live and be loved. The love in my life, and I will always want my thoughts to share with you.
    When I look at the photo with the tears of an eye, it expresses how much pain and deep sadness. A look is worth a thousand words. It hurts me in my heart and how much I pity myself.
    It does not use when I breathe deeply and pray it tangentially of my heart so strong, so I just have to cry bitterly. And the tears flow over my soft face and that is so much that everything is wet. And no one is there to give me dry those tears, about my own loss of life.
    Sorry. (I am feeling now, in my mind when I would speak with my spirit from the sky with my living body. But who on earth lives with you and always with you in daily contact. Just a strange feeling.)
    Although I have to admit so many wonderful life. and also from the life so much more to learning have.
    As we discussed last week together and I said, I will be here always Butterflymoms Blog to contribute my thoughts and dreams. I love that Moms Blog about everything, but it takes all his time developing and America was not built in a day. The gradual build with patience, should always lead to success in every area.
    I have neglected nothing, but on the contrary, my thoughts are always here with you. I know that my writing always comes too late, but you have to try to have understanding and patience with me. I have to make a real life and everything is dependent on me. Just the important things for my children are making, otherwise here in the reality everything would stop. If I would do anything for my family and my art will probably break down everything in a short time. I am the day of my obligation to my family exposed to, and organize all the things right that no one suffers.
    In different time of day breaks sometimes hold up my energy because I only have a certain energy potential at your disposal. My mind and body has to move into retirement because my health would suffer terribly. Allso, I always try to give my best for you and my family everything.

    2. You are my dearest family here and an extended family and friends I do not know and everything moves only in your thought. You are my life here and my only family (my children) and my best friend with whom I would hand in hand are old. I want to spend my life with you honest and true, because it fascinates me. We are two souls who have met and no longer be separated from each other. We just give as much and say.
    My beauty comes from within! I am a dreamer with a fanatical will to live. Of course I have an artistic eye and a hand with an artistic flair, for my art. My artistic hand leads me crazy sometimes just as great a work of art.
    It is also true. I am very simple, loving and realitsch thinking person, my eyes are always focused simultaneously on the visual and in the inner process of the action. This event can also occur but the darkness is so small and they are wrapped by my strong, warm light of heart.
    Therefore, the darkness has no chance. to come to the fore, because my inner light of love is so powerful. I believe all life is too short to experience it all with you. Pay special happened between us and we have been the fate combined to give us mutual love, affection and responsibility. To show us how easy deep true love is without a lot of effort have.

    2. Dreams: Also, I have not reached perfection for my passion of realism you dream with you, and they ignite the love of visual and intellectual creativity and keeps me alive. Lasting passion does not come through the spiritual attraction, but from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. I can revive the passion again and again by I represent our visual experiences, which I feel passion. My spontaneity and surprise create passion with you. My love and happiness arise from the same root, I just need to live each day with passion. I do intense when I experience with you in realitsche dreams.
    Allso there are still a lot to do for us both and I love being with you. And let the river come true in our realitschen dreams. Dream of you into real life. From dreams we both draw new strength. Dreams offer a place where eternal love lives with you.
    3.Please, not be sad, and is easier to bear if you love me in my soul and heart, and always have a confidence in me, and then every moment for you full of happiness. I will always give you all the love to honor back. I am a grateful soul just for you.
    My white flowers are deep in the heart and they will always give you the important seeds back to live strong and powerful in the future, with the right roots.

    ** My hug from deepest heart and full of love from me.

  12. ♥♥ My faithful and pure heart give this only for you…you know that…ILY

  13. Maria, I am so sorry for your unbelievable loss. Thank you for writing about her and sharing her beauty with us. Stay strong and always remember how your life is better for having her in it.

    • Hello Beautiful Barb,
      Thank you for honoring your instinct to read ButterflyMoms this week about our beloved Mandy. The memorial service is today….doing my best to stay in the moment and appreciating the right now.
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  14. Mandy Fly on. Rock Sophia in your arms. We will all be with each other again. In the mean time We will all know when we see you .Butterflies are free.

    Love and good energy to all.

    Kristen

    • Thank you beautiful Kristen for the love and visual treasures you have given all of us! Priceless! MWAH!!!!!!!!!

      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  15. What a beautiful tribute, Maria, and how excruciatingly painful it must have been to write it. Thank you for sharing Mandy with us, and giving us a glimpse of the amazing and beautiful person she is! I don’t have words that will help. But I have love, sympathy and best wishes for you, your family, Mandy’s family and friends. I have deep admiration for Mandy, and am grateful that she blessed and enriched your life so, and all the other lives she touched. I am certain that she feels all your love, and returns it to you. My heart goes out to all of you at this difficult time. And also to her beautiful friend who is alive and recovering from her physical wounds. I too pray that this will not crush her spirit, her essence, and that she will recover emotionally and spiritually as well as physically and be able to move on with her own life and live it to the fullest! My heart also goes out to her beautiful friend Alexandra, mourning her loss in Santa Fe.

    I love Kristen Meyer’s post above: “Mandy Fly on. Rock Sophia in your arms. We will all be with each other again. In the mean time We will all know when we see you .Butterflies are free.” How beautiful! Such a wonderful portrait your words paint.

    Love and light to all!
    Susan

    • Beautiful Susan,
      How simply wonderful the words are that you wrote! You even included some of the people who reached out and what struck you from what they said. Deep love and gratitude to you!
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  16. My dearest Maria, I will not send any additional grief but my love. I have given only to the particular topic my thoughts. and I’m sorry if I do not mean love have so delivered. But you know I am a loving person in my heart and always will be with you.

    I am also grateful to you for all the good thoughts and feelings. you’ve given me in words. In all the love in the inner heart, I’m trying to give everything what you have written here. I’ve written anything wrong but I have tried very much here to bring up my beautiful love one.
    I am especially grateful for all your human and loving touch, the fertilization and the confidence that I could perceive and feel.
    I am very grateful for all your beautiful love, understand me and can learn again and I am glad that you like me always say. that my love is not enough depth I have submitted.

  17. Hello
    What a beautifully written piece. The reader can practically feel your pain.
    I was Mandy’s (& the rest of her family) next door neighbor until they moved this past November. I never got to know them all that well but Mandy & her Dad were the ones I spoke with the most. Mandy always made me laugh… so full of life. She was an art major & so was I so we had that in common. I didn’t stay with the art so I loved hearing about her adventures as she was getting ready to make her mark in the world.
    Such a terrible loss. I will miss her.

    • Thank you for reaching out beautiful Tony! I’ll make sure the family reads your sharing from your heart. Over 1,000 people read the blog in just 3 days and very few left their words. It means a lot to the rest of us to leave your feelings and thoughts. I ask others to do as Tony did. It helps to hear how she touched others…and how her soul is still influencing people. :)!!

  18. I love you so much Mandy and I miss the fun times we had together.

  19. I love you mandy. You are a great cousin. I will miss you. Love Ya!!!!!!!!!!

  20. Mandy used to work with us, she is one sweet person, aside from doing her job well, she also has a beautiful soul. We were all shocked knowing about this tragedy. We were viewing her artworks online and just realized how talented she was. I myself can’t get over with this easy, I remember making her laugh everytime I hum the Barry Manilow tune “Mandy”, I know I will always be reminded of her. Our sincere Condolences to her family. Please know that Mandy has touched our lives the moments she crossed our paths. We missed you Mandy when you left the Unit last year…

  21. **Dear Maria…Please, no losses and more memory and I believe in my eternal love and strength lives in me. Everything will be positive in the heart …
    I’m like I need and love me as I am. Even though I have small errors and should me help you with your inner strength to strongly support this energy from me. But I am a warm and caring soul that makes you laugh with my art and my heart is always in you.
    please. From the heart. I do not make any adventure, or for other tracks to be left in the world. I am doing everything just for you and we have our personal energies. That you and I do.
    I have all my beautiful, valuable and deep soul I’ll show and prove. What my heart and soul feels for many days, nights, months and up forever. The nice time with you every day, is always much deeper meaning with our feelings.
    With love from the heart …
    and i love you too…you know it…

  22. **Dear Maria… *: ENERGY-WORKSHOP:* Thank you from my heart, I still have no access to your energy workshop when I click the button, it’s only for Pay Pal. But when I finally got in your energy workshop .
    My feeling is there and curious to see how your energy workshop is built on. I learn everything step by step from you and is super. ok. I hope I can meet you and me. If sleep two sweet girls, the real work starts with your energy workshop.
    I hope. I can finally income in your energy workshop to go when I click the button. Clock tomorrow evening at 8…I LOVE U…

  23. My heart is with your entire family. Death and grief are vicious beasts, Only time can sooth and calm them. Yet, even once calm, they are always there – ready to snap and snarl at the littlest thing. Feed off the love around you, to lift you up, to carry you through.


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