Posted by: ButterflyMoms | July 15, 2011

Millions of Tiny, Little CHOICES


Dearest Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

Here are this week’s important ButterflyMoms updates…

*Started our ButterflyMoms Chakra workshops and welcomed some new faces. Thank you Denise, Kerri, Jennifer, Mary, Christine and Susan and  to Karen, Raquel, Nancy, Ellen, Maria, Nancy, Karen, Karin, Hilde, Christine, Donna, Jess and Gaynor who were there in spirit! We’re meeting again next Thursday, July 21st, 8pm at 783 Washington St, Holliston. Plenty of FREE parking in back. Only $25 at the door or just $20 if you drop off a check or pay through Paypal… http://bit.ly/mS7c70 . 🙂  Come to feed your soul!

*For the 13 or 14th week my computer and website issues are still a work in progress. Please keep sharing the site to friends. I apologize for the hiccups.

*No new books sold for MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE this week. Third week of no book sales. All potential book buyers must be on vacation… I hope they come back soon! ;). Keep putting your dream out there too!

 

THIS WEEK's BUTTERLYMOMS WINNER... Kerri Miller holding her! prize!!

 

*We had our second ButterflyMoms blog contest and picked the winner last night at the ButterflyMoms workshop. (drum roll) Envelop please…And the winner is…. the beautiful KERRI  MILLER of Holliston. Kerri has attended all seven of the ButterflyMoms workshops!!!! YAY KERRI! I guess all the power of attraction exercises are paying off, eh?! 😉 Kerri Miller is a Holistic Health Practitioner and Feng Shui Master, coaching those seeking better health by integrating Nutritional Coaching, Energetic Healing,  Aromatherapy! More contests coming in the fall!

Now onto the ButterflyMoms blog…

We’ve all heard the saying, “Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans.” Well that is JUST how my morning went. In the middle of writing my blog I heard a H-U-G-E thump. I don’t know if you have ever heard the sound of a body falling…even from a very short distance. It is a very eerie sound. I heard this sound this morning…It was one of our exchange students who had an infection on her leg and did not let us know. She was in severe pain and did not sleep at night at all. She was exhausted and literally passed out downstairs in the kitchen at like 6am this morning! Long story short she is fine after six hours of an ambulance ride, working out insurance from another country, CAT scan, blood samples, injections of morphine, shots of novocain, draining her wound, saline drip and antibiotics, standing in line, booking a follow up appointment and getting prescriptions.

The day was filled with emotion! Being in the hospital not knowing if she was ok or not triggered when I was there five years ago when Sophia died. I have to admit that a lot of times when I’m with other people around, I SWALLOW MY FEELINGS about her death, about missing her. I don’t know if I think people don’t want to be “bothered” or “cannot handle it”. I also FEAR that if I start crying it will trigger THE ABYSS OF PAIN that parents who lose children KNOW in their cells. It is almost PALPABLE, this pain. I know it is not real but when you are IN IT, it feels like the most real things in the world.

Just like every day, my day was made up of millions of tiny, little choices. Today I chose to FEEL my grief when it came up and not BURY it somewhere inside. I cried in front of Laura, Doug, about four nurses, two doctors and one waitress. At least FOR TODAY I let go of what others would do or say. I FELT THE FEELING and THEN EXPRESSED IT…this time is through tears…other times is through HUGGING.

Hugging Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick

I HUG a lot because each time I do it gives me the opportunity to CONNECT with another soul and show my GRATITITUDE for being here. I have found in this lifetime that we as humans have a tendency of neglecting our bodies, a lot! Hugging allows people to GROUND themselves and BE PRESENT. Most people LOVE hugs because it brings them to their present moment. I have a suspicion that when people don’t like hugs it’s probably because it triggers a past moment instead of a present one.

Today I allowed myself to FEEL SAD and it did not send me to the ABYSS OF PAIN I so fear, at times. This journey has a lot to do with trust. The only power we have is CHOICE. When I try to CONTROL things Igive away the only power I’ve ever had, that is the power of CHOICE! When I’m in my present moment and feeling what comes up I CREATE an OPPORTUNITY to raise my quality of life by allowing ENERGY to NATURALLY FLOW. Blocking ENERGY leads to nothing but grief and pain.

I invite you to PLAY with whatever feelings come up for you…FEELINGS ARE WISDOM, it is how the universe communicates. When I FEAR MY FEELINGS I BLOCK MY FLOW OF ABUNDANCE! Just noticing when I do it….and the consequences I receive for FLOW or  LACK OF FLOW. CHOICE is the key. The key only exists in the PRESENT MOMENT. May you remember to savor your “NOW”!

Great big hugs,

Maariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE…

UNITED STATES

California

Anaheim 1

Fullerton 1

Sacramento 1

San Bruno 1

Connecticut

Greenwich 1

Yalesville 1

Florida

Fort Lauderdale 1

Kentucky

Louisville 1

Maryland

Chestertown 1

Massachusetts

Ashland 2

Bolton 1

Holliston 12

Hudson 4

Medway 3

North Easton 1

Sherborn 1

South Grafton 1

Watertown 1

Worcester 3

Missouri

Lee’s Summit 1

New York

Scarsdale 1

Stony Brook 1

Ohio

Dublin 1

Rhode Island

Newport 1

Vermont

Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2

AUSTRIA

Wien, Austria 2

IRELAND

Dublin, Ireland 1

ITALY

Rome, Italy 3

JAPAN

Tokyo  1

PORTUGAL

Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1

*To buy your copy Click here now…http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!

Share the ButterflyMoms blog with your beloved friends! Spread the love!  www.butterflymoms.com

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Responses

  1. Ahhh deep breath, as you like to say. I feel empowered after reading this post. Thank you for being the fire!

    • WOW SASHA! YOU read FAST! ZOOOWIE! 😉

      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      😉

  2. Excuse me if a word or two looks funny. I am sitting on the front porch and the sun is quite bright, I can barely see the screen. But I could read you Maria. I love your blog. I am on the porch instead of doing house or yard work. I am feeling lazy. It feels so good. And I am in the company of the most beautiful largest BUTTERFLY!!! Life is perfect just as it is when you stop not letting it be. The butterfly is painted 2nd chakra and is into the purplest flowers. Thanks Maria for being on my porch this beautiful morning. XO N

  3. Wow, what an adventure! Glad you were there to hear the thud and so glad Laura is OK! How awesome that you let yourself feel sad and it didn’t send you into the abyss. I’m often afraid of that too, especially when my memory is triggered about the babies I never got to hold. I fear people might not understand or it will make them uncomfortable. Also, I fear people won’t be able to relate to the intense missing of & longing for a child that wasn’t born. We don’t talk about miscarriage or other prenatal tragedies here…it’s taboo & often whispered like people do about cancer. We don’t talk about the loss of a child very often. To hear of it is so shocking and universally painful even to those of us just hearing about it that we bury it, often times assuming ‘no one wants to hear that.’ I’m beginning to think that when we do this, we are underestimating ourselves and others: both our own capacity to endure grief, and their ability to empathize with us. I know that for myself, I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT! I want a chance to care, empathize, hug or show support. Why should I assume others don’t feel the same way? Yet at the same time, I avoid talking about it, for the same fears you so eloquently voiced.

    Interesting theory about hugging. I love hugs, but sometimes avoid them. As a child a hug often preceded or followed a backhand across the face…same thing with the words “I love you.” Very confusing for a small child. So I meet them with some ambivalence…it gets at my own trust issues. I remember also having my mother scream “get the [expletive] out of my house!” to which I eventually replied ‘fine by me’ only to have my mom hurl hurself in front of the door as I was marching toward it. Talk about mixed messages! I don’t think of these things regularly anymore, but it’s still in there, the silent scar…sometimes it doesn’t take much to trigger those fears & feelings, and I don’t even realize it.

    I’ve gotten a bit off topic here, but THANK YOU, MARIA, for sharing your truth and your big open heart with me! You are helping me to open my heart and to look at it in new ways, and it’s so awesome. I didn’t mean to write all this…I sat down and it just flowed through my fingers as if on its own. And you know what? I didn’t fall into the abyss either, and I feel better! 🙂

    Love you, Maria!!!!! You are amazing in deed (wow, look at that, accidental typo becomes nice double entendre “in deed”), and I’m sending you a great big, giant Maria-hug…I hope you can feel it, because I swear I do!

    Can’t sign my name to this one, but you know me and probably don’t need a signature to figure it out, you smart cookie. Now that I’ve fed my soul, time to get on with this beautiful day. Surf’s up!

  4. Maria, i was going to just message you privately, but then when I read S’s reply above, i thought i will go ahead and respond on the blog as usual.
    My heart went out to you when i read about how being in the hospital brought the memories flooding back. I know about that too well. When my husband died, it was years before i could pass by the mortuary where he was laid out without feeling terrible, and it was literally TWO DECADES before i could go by the place where he committed suicide without an actual shiver going through me…and it’s a place i had to travel relatively frequently. (many times now, because of where i’ve lived the past 15 years, i have to drive by there 4 times a day or more!!). And when i got raped when i was pregnant, it was—i don’t even remember how many years, but more than 10–before i didn’t jump at every loud noise, and years before i could see someone in a mask, or even a stocking cap (he was wearing a rolled-down stocking cap with eyeholes cut out) without shivering. And again, it was years before i could comfortably be in my kitchen where my eks-husband use to mentally torture me and physically choke me. Even though i love to cook, i hated being in there for so long, until one of my daughter’s finally helped me to repaint it, so i could “claim it” as my own again!.
    The good news is, Maria, even though all these terrible things took years to get over, i eventually did. They are always part of your psyche and being, but one day they stop being a painful part, and are just a part, period. I hope the day for you speeds up it’s coming. I love you, beautiful, brave Maria!
    …and I hope Laura is permanently ok, too. I identify with her because i am always stoic and never go to the doctor or hospital, so i understand how she didn’t want to bother you. Tell her “hi” from me, even though neither of us know each other, and tell her i prayed for her that day, and i hope she becomes able to take others in her confidence when things aren’t going well, either physically or otherwise.
    God bless you both!–and your entire family as well.
    Love,
    Celeste

  5. Your the Best Maria !!

  6. I like the part of about grounding through hugs. There was only one person at the art reception yesterday in Blue Hill that gave me a welcoming hug. People are a bit stand offish up here and miss the hugs in our HTP group, including your hugs. (I did sell a painting at the silent auction for the library though. The first painting I’ve done since I’ve moved up here.Yeah!)

    Hope your exchange student is doing well now, and that you care having a good summer otherwise.

    Will try to call you soon on my new cell (the tide drowned my old cell phone). Been a struggle adjusting here but it forces me to dig deeper into who I am as a person and soul being.

    Love, Linda D.

  7. DearMaria…. 🙂
    1.I am your most important this week ButterflyMoms updates. With my best knowledge and conscience to do everything with the utmost responsibility of love. You know I have a nice blog on the ButterflyMoms regular access. It works here just fabulous. I want a normal access to the same energy workshop. Otherwise we will always have the same situation every week with this workshop. There would be no PC and Internet problems and extra work processes. I’ve paid my F-things, and you do need access now simply released. I’m usually really verweifelt with joy.

    1.For this link, there is only one application for PayPal. http://www.butterflymoms.com/workshoplist.html
    2.BUTTERFLY MOMS: here nothing happens to the energy workshop. http://www.facebook.com/groups/93661017326.

    This week another new winner for the competition of ButterflyMoms blogs.
    These Kerri shines over the whole face of this gain success. She is additionally a Holistic Health Practitioner …
    This competition, favoring seems to act as you would a magic spell. Or even its special nature it is very strongly expressed. Maybe I’m even a lucky winner for the remaining competitions in the coming autumn. My soul will shine too much and my heart jumps for joy out of control.

    2. Now this picture is very sympathetic and somewhat stimulated to think and maybe she needs a lot of relaxation and recreation. Me is always the thought in mind, the power of positive thinking is, in such a situation always an important point.

    This positive force in itself carries the hope that everything that happens around you, whether happy or contexts of everyday positive events like this little incident. Of any explosive sounds from a short distance to increase true. You have to remember what a mental and physical overload at this moment must be.

    I touch the heart and soul of why this wonderful and beautiful girl came into an unwanted process of pain. I think you have enough self-healing features in their own inner being, to cure this strange infection on the fastest way again. The best and the healthiest recipe is easy to keep your head high and walk through deep breathing with the power of positive thinking ahead.

    Of course, in such an important moment, the love begins with our positive thoughts. We get what we think. Loving thoughts create a loving experience, loving relationships and health evaluation of all mental or physical pain. Loving positive thoughts can change our beliefs and views about ourselves and others. If we want to have someone happy and healthy, we need to consider their needs and desires. I always try to be empathetic, just for you alone.

    Every day we are filled with emotions that we can not foresee. But we just
    have to take into account the other to help, and we always try to make the best of it. It’s also a little sad that the little Sophia died in the same place. Where the wonderful and beautiful girl has been located to heal their pain.
    But she is always among us, I can now feel so deeply in my soul. She always gives back her beautiful love, so that the pain in this moment simply does not exist anymore and you can feel their love quite strong.

    PS: I’m not at all bothered me and I always love to be here. Please. You have to try to finally understand, I can not write so well as you do you’re a writer and I am an artist. I want to learn to write with you and for that I must read a lot of other stuff, so I can give my own thoughts in writing. The letter is are true stories in my head.

    3. This photo with the child. I feel your pain my child so deep in the heart. Last night I could not sleep, I’ve always had this image in your head with your tears. I felt this intense longing and absence of you in my heart. I feel your inner child, but it is born and I try all my love that I have the heart to share with you. Your inner child speaks to the lack of a deep love and security and is always looking for my love that I share with you always. All you do your inner child, it is always with me, because it lives always in my heart. My love is yours, is your true home.

    Out of sheer desire for your inner child, most of all I would like to take a flight to me. I wanted to hug you the whole time, hold you and caress your soul and hurt your tender heart, yet so much love you carry within. In my hand to wipe your tears and give my heart in my soft and compassionate heart. Every moment to share your sadness with you and pour warm with my love, you give yourself protected, and again a warm bright light into your childhood memories.

    It breaks my heart when I see how you’re helplessly in such a moment of your deep pain. I’m sympathetic with you and I will try you as much as possible to understand you and a great empathy for your child to have pain. It’s so depressing that adding the parents of a child in infancy for mental injuries, to have made poor suffer from self-experience and too little empathy for the soul of her own child. Your parents have to get a little deep love of their own parents. This valuable and unselfish love they could pass it to you only in fragments, because they simply could not give love. Exactly the same thing my parents did with me.
    An additional problem in daily life. The parents are under pressure with work and training to make a good life for their beloved children. You forget many things, and they take too little time for deep spiritual love and comfort her child. As a child, they told you, you have to always be strong, full speed ahead, and there is too little time for the inner essence and soul of the quiet life. From childhood to adulthood, you must be strong and always loaded with new energy.
    Of course it is good on one side, but on the other hand, remain the child’s emotional pain that all of life in you. Some internal injuries are so big that you can not heal self-healing powers. But in a real moment of good observation with the aid of another, it can heal well. (Love)

    PS: I’m the human of you again and again shows what true love and caring. I’m the human I always bring a smile to your face. I am the human you the support you at all, and there always is for me. I am the human whom you can confide everything, I can say everything, thank you for everything, no matter what, and how great your pain. I will always go with you, because I will not leave alone! You are something special in my life again with every look you show me how important I am to you!

    Many loving thanks to your invitation, but you do not need me to invite my feelings always come willingly to you because I need your beautiful soul always around me. All my beautiful thoughts and feelings are always honest and loving way. without playing any.

    I am a responsible and reliable person who always tries to you in all your feelings and needs to follow. Our energy flows through every day and forth because we meet each other and is the main point.
    You’re my key to my heart always lives out of love.
    I embrace you with deep love.

  8. What this exchange student has to do with our history, beautiful private relationship. Do not try anything to relate to our beautiful private relationship.
    I was just trying to make out of your writing, something positive.
    But it seems to have opposite effects. I apologize.

    I am always with you alone together and where I should go the summer without you. I’m just always there for you, with my loving heart that only you live with every minute. Your part with the child, I love you so infinitely deep hug me all my love from my heart.


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