Posted by: ButterflyMoms | October 21, 2011

The Bystander Effect…Waiting for Others instead of listening to your SELF!

Beautiful ButterflyMoms!

As you read this I am most likely driving up to Vermont to the first ever ButterflyMoms Retreat! Doing this is like stepping into my dream. Even with all the obstacles that came up, I moved forward because the pain of not doing it, was WAY bigger than the little bumps. Having been on The Oprah Show brought me to a new level of BELIEVING of what we can manifest and even though that feeling can fade a bit over time the depth of what happened is something I feel deep in my soul. It was like the world expanded because a new possibility materialized. Doing this took disconnecting from the “shoulds” and doing things that others around me were not doing…mainly starting to ask for what I wanted and talking about my dream.

So for today’s blog I feel compelled to point out how very important it is NOT to follow what everyone else is doing. Having an AVERAGE life what most people try to do…(think of the expression “keeping up with the Joneses”). Going along with everyone else is not always the best thing and many times we do it on automatic pilot… DEEP BREATH HERE! Psychologists even have a term for it, it’s called the BYSTANDER EFFECT. Human beings when they are around other people they shut off their intuition.

For today’s blog I’m going to let these two videos explain what I mean. Watch with an open heart. Don’t judge…or if you feel yourself judging, practice letting that feeling go and just observe what you see…what you feel. After you watch both of them write down what you feel. How do you run your life on automatic pilot and ignore your inner voice? Give yourself this gift today. Use it to move some of your blocks so that you can attract the life you know is possible…

Be kind to your SELF! Make time for your SELF! LISTEN to your SELF! LOVE your SELF! :)! Notice where you are zoning out in your own life.

Big honkin’ huge hugs,



√  A wonderful resource is Doreen G. Fulton‘s FREE virtual conference “Finally, an IEP for Mom! An Individualized Empowerment Plan for the Mom Who is Overworked, Overstressed and Overloaded!” ! I am soooooo excited to work with her! The interview airs this week! Check it out…

√  Just finished our 21st week in a row of ButterflyMoms Workshops!!!!! Come feed your soul…783 Washington St, Holliston. Plenty of FREE & EASY PARKING in back. Only $25 or just $20 if pay through Paypal

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Blackstone 2 Bolton 1

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Hudson 4

Medway 3

Millis 1

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New York

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Stony Brook 1


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Rhode Island

Newport 1


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Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1




Madrid 1

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  1. Wonderful reminder, Maria. Hope you have a fantastic retreat this weekend!!

  2. 1. ((*__*)) = (*_*)
    I’m sorry my dearest Maria. I’m always too late with my writing. My sensitive and caring words for my love ButterflyMoms’s blog. I’m so happy in my soul, for which long faithful exist, this fantastic ButterflyMoms’s blog.

    Thank you very much. I have added everything you are me trying to explain and understand, deep in my being. While I have read your letter, loving and aufforderndes. You were already long travel, first to Vermont. Hopefully, I understand you correctly, this is how in the your dream. But your dream is to keep everything nice and warm and alive, and to be always holding together everything a beautiful family.

    I think it’s wonderful and valuable feel, a nice small family to live in, that carries so much kindness and warmth in the heart. Is there anything more beautiful, in my life. You are but a precious soul who showed me so much, what precisely look, listen and is deeper cohesion. And gives me the feeling to live in a full warm satisfaction, to appreciate and to know. You are a soul for me, with particularly fine qualities, that rarely are.

    It’s nice. Forever, I would like to continue to allocate valuable cohesion, with reliable soul. I am always satisfied and thankful soul on Earth, if you think Finally, in my honest and loyal soul. I have always tried to dream, a small and happy family to live in, which is associated with so much loving responsibility with you.

    2. I do not understand to this day. why you want to do necessarily with Vermont. This long way to the magical place Vermont which is greater. as the tiny bumps, the ideas of the soul. But somehow. This is a sensitive thing, which is associated with much magical energy. You speak of any obstacles that you have dragged to the front. to feel no pain. But there is still an old saying, must put not each small bead on the scales, and weigh whether all 100% percent runs.

    the inner strength always say of positive thinking. all-in-one brings very did form and makes everything possible. If you have time and peace for all.
    But I know only one. for everything you do, you must have a certain patience have a chance to develop in the soul.

    But if you this patience and time no longer on bring want,. and make other projects want to, that now you are interested in. Or because it has become boring to you. with my soul Exchange. then I am really concerned, in the my loyal soul unto thee.

    As long as faithful time, I have with you all. shared as a loving relationship with my heart. To meet your soul. So far, mean real mandatory things. allow it. Perhaps I did sometimes more for you. than you for me. Or maybe I dream. I’ve never done more? No matter how whatever. Despite all, I’m just for you there, what ever you want to do.

    3. You’re saying the Oprah Show, has brought to a new level of faith. and what we express. the feelings can blow for. The deep of the happenings, enshrined in your soul, deeply what you feel all the time.

    But you say me now, how and what goes on your wonderful and real dream. What is more intention for your real dream, that you can use realtische life. So that your soul is satisfied and I accompany you, and maybe you can combine it later even with my art. That would be yet a further real dream that would fit well. What do you mean.

    E.G. Perhaps your dream also shows to inner satisfaction. Strength. Presence at the moment. Joy of life. Clarity. Trust warmth and power.

    Just the thought of these qualities touched me most directly in the heart.
    It opens a perception of deep relationship with myself. Also the knowledge that this dream is the mainstay of any harmonious encounter. And learn at a still deep level, he opens the door to a larger, inner dimension.
    Who is not familiar with the longing to realize dreams.

    4. I don’t know how, these videos revolve around my head, and bring up so many emotions to me. I feel only sensitive things. how amazed freedom, where is the inner voice of compassion, how can something you make, just past go and pretend as if nothing has happened.

    But, I will make no judgment on others, what they do or what not to do. How much responsibility they have in everyday life for their fellow human beings. Maybe, when I was a young girl. I sometimes made the same. what others do. I am in the nature, a very sensitive and compassionate person, and had become aware of at that time already very fast to me.

    Everything that happens my environment with the others around me, just good look and to be a caring person. Because at some point I can just go.
    Today as a mature, experienced, very sensitive and compassionate human being. I can’t. the majority of people follow, which can have no loving behavior towards others. It consists of an urgent situation. Need help. What I always want to express. I want no viewers effect to achieve, but seriously always the perception of the events to be aware of.

    PS: For you Maria. I hope you always beautiful, warm and sunny time for everything we do.
    I arms you with my loving and loyal soul. ((*__*)) = (*_*)

  3. Unbelievable what will people do in the pack mentally or the uncaring one is more the accurate description. I hope I’ll never be like that but people are so scared to get involved these days and the lack of community exasperates this for sure.

    Hope you had a great weekend. Let me know how it went.
    Love, Linda

  4. Thank you for all the wonderful comments! :)!

    Big hugs,

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