Posted by: ButterflyMoms | January 6, 2012

A Mother-to-Mother CATFIGHT


Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Being a mother can be a wonderful thing and yet there are aspects of it I have struggled with though. One of them is, to be quite honest is something most don’t really bring up, FRIENDS. Many women end up becoming friends with the moms of the kids in their mommy group. Some of these groups, for some reason, develop a lot of toxicity in the sense that we are suddenly transported back to middle school. What forms is basically a clique with its own hierarchical system. There are the leaders and the followers. “In” members and “out” members.

A client called me yesterday completely distraught because of how she was being treated by her group, women she had known for years and years. Major life lesson here. Life gives you EXACTLY what you need. Whether it’s a mommy group or a job, when it’s “time” for you to move on from a group you will be “released” one way or another. Energetically it’s the same thing that happens when a baby is being ready to be born. A million different little things work together to “release” the baby at just the right time, no matter how comfort-cozy it is in the womb. When it no longer serves you to be with that group you are also released…even if you go kicking and screaming.

So let’s say you are part of one of these groups, it could really be any group, and when you leave (whether you get kicked out or do it out of your own accord), there may be some very ICKY feelings floating up. WHAT IF…you took those feelings as a gift? WHAT IF… you paid attention to how much of your precious energy you were mindlessly using up to lament this occurrence?

If someone call you a “giraffe” you think…”wow that person has their own stuff going on.” Right? Even if you were in public you would still be fine because it’s obvious you are not a giraffe…DUH!

Well what happens is someone calls you a ____________________ (asshole, jerk, pig, bad mother, cow…). Then how do you feel? DEEP BREATH HERE. And how would you feel if it were in public? Hmmmmmm? 😉 If you are TRIGGERED by a word that means that at least a part of you FEARS it is true. ANOTHER DEEP BREATH HERE.

At this point also notice if you are JUST READING this and your mind is PREVENTING YOU FROM ACTUALLY FEELING THE EXERCISE ABOVE. Noticing this is important because if it’s happening here, with something so simple and “safe”, it’s most likely happening ALL OVER YOUR LIFE.

You have two choices right now as you read (and feel) this…The first CHOICE you have is to FIGHT/FLIGHT against this ICKINESS. This can come in the form of either ATTACKING the other person or DISMISSING/COCOONING/RUNNING AWAY from the experience. Most of us have unconsciously chosen this choice all our lives as an AUTOMATIC RESPONSE but now we are being taught something that uses our ENERGY in a much more efficient way…which brings us to the third CHOICE.

Choice two is to simply NOTICE how you are feeling but what was said. Let’s say the word that most triggered you was COW, notice how you feel when someone says that word around you. Whatever gets triggered is what needs to come out and be released from your believe system for it is a hidden fear that no longer serves you. If it brings up issues of your being over-weight than play with that for a while. Notice if that is something that you believe is true. If it is, do you want to do something about it? If you do, fine. If you don’t fine. It is your life. It is your body. It is your energy to use as you so wish.

Now back to the expulsion from your group…fears will certainly come up, which gives you the WONDERFUL opportunity to check in with yourself and see what FEAR is ready to be released. Our bodies belong to this planet. When we are born we come with soooo many wonderful gifts that most of us have never been taught how to use. Imagine getting a brand new top-of-the-line music system and never even taking it out of the box. How you use your energy and how you TRANSLATE what is happening in your life, determines how much juiciness/aliveness/joy your life has. There are many ways to do this, one simple way is to read this blog every Friday to feed your soul. PEACE TO YOU!

Great big hugs,


P.S. Help me support my dream… It’s been TWENTY YEARS in the making!!!! Entrepreneurial Moms Extraordinaire is the amazing wisdom of 21 entrepreneurial moms who are passing on their knowledge to those who don’t have time for beating around the bush! We all need to make money and live our lives well NOW. YOU WILL LOVE IT!!!! Please order it now and join the hundreds of happy readers before you who took the leap of faith in helping someone grow…


ButterflyMoms is a community of people who realize they are souls first and human being second. They want to explore more about themselves, to find out what makes them happy and how they can lead a life of purpose. It is simply about FEEDING YOUR SOUL. Although it has the name “MOMS” in the title it is more about being nurturing to your own transformation, as the butterfly is to its own metamorphosis. This community is led by Maria Salomão-Schmidt whose transformation was ignited by the birth and death of her BELOVED thirteen month old daughter Sophia (Sophalicious), the original butterfly.

*Every Thursday night we have a ButterflyMoms workshop at 783 Washington Street in Holliston, MA at 8pm that feeds your soul. They started after Maria manifested her dream…with the help of Sophia…to be a guest on THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW and every week since she had done the workshop on Thursday nights.

*Every Friday morning, as a way of honoring Sophia’s soul, Maria gets up at 4:30am to write the weekly ButterflyMoms blog. Hundreds of people read it every week to feed their souls. Maria started writing the blog in 2009 and has written EVERY Friday since.



√  Next ButterflyMoms Workshops is January 12 at 8pm. Come learn to feed your magnificent soul!…783 Washington St, Holliston. Plenty of FREE & EASY PARKING in back. Only $25, or just $20 if pay through Paypal or drop off a check.

√  I have space for one more coaching clients. If you are interested send me an email!

 √  Here is the magnificent ButteflyMoms interview on Nancy L. Cantor‘s Dream Factory Television Show… I hope you watch it and that it feeds your soul! !

√  We sold no ENTREPRENEUR MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE book this past week. Please help me reach my goal of selling twenty-five more books this month!  If you have been thinking about starting a business or want to take your business to the next level this is a wonderful way to start. WAY cheaper than going back to school…and very helpful! To feed the soul of a friend buy them a copy by CLICKING HERE NOW…  PLUS each book is personally (and lovingly) autographed.


THE BOOK… “Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire”
The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live, who bought our wonderful book, MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE… Buy one so you can put your city/town/country on the list like so many other beautiful ButterflyMoms have!

Anaheim 1
Fullerton 1
Sacramento 1
San Bruno 1
Greenwich 1
Yalesville 1
Fort Lauderdale 1

Roswell 1
Louisville 1

Biddeford 1

Chestertown 1
Ashland 3
Blackstone 2

Bolton 1
Canton 1

Framingham 1

Holliston 14
Hudson 4
Medway 3
Millis 1

Millbury 4
North Easton 1
Sherborn 1
South Grafton 1
Watertown 1
Westborough 1

Wrentham 1
Worcester 3
Wrentham 1
Lee’s Summit 1
New York
Scarsdale 1
Stony Brook 1
Dublin 1
Rhode Island
Newport 1
Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2
Wien 2
Dublin, Ireland 1
Rome, Italy 3
Tokyo  1
Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1
Greenock 1
Madrid 1
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  1. Maria.. I think this blog will touch everyone today and it might even change how some will go about their day and days to come. It’s another case of Maria guiding people to make changes for the better…. I love you Maria x

    • I totally agree!

  2. Maria, This makes me think of the book, “The Seat Of The Soul.” It says we should try to remember when you interact with another person to see them as their Soul. This human vessel you are interacting with is a Soul trying it’s best to remember who it is. We all are making our mistakes as we are trying to find our back to our core essence.The bum lying in the gutter is a Soul on it’s journey, serving a purpose we might not understand but rest assure he is serving a purpose, a life lesson either for his Soul or another’s. If someone is mean to you, you don’t have to accept the behavior but try to understand they are either in pain or in fear. Release your need for retaliation or anger for them, find peace in your heart and you’ll find you’ve released them with love.You will be healthier, happier and it’s good for our Soul!!!
    Love and Light

  3. Thanks for taking the time to share with the rest of the world. How you write and your words of wisdom are special.

  4. Your The Best Soul Feeder in the world !!

    ~Maria i just want you to have a copy of my birthday post on Thursday~

    When i was younger I asked my Mother how

    do I find the right woman,She told me not to worry about finding the right woman,

    But to concentrate on becoming the right man.Even if I never ever have anything else,

    I will always have the best memories of my Mothers love in my heart to guide me in life.

    I hope most of us reach the Golden age in which we can create and rebuild our lives,

    For us to marvel at the life we live and live passionately and enjoy it with all its

    intensity without fear or guilt of pleasure.

  5. Dear Maria, et. al.,
    Wow! This was a really good blog, although, 1) i didn’t quite see the “catfight” part…i was ekspecting something quite different by the title, and 2) immediately sad for me: I love your way of putting it in the light of, “the universe is trying to release you,” but the thought jumps into my head of, “why does if have to release you from EVERYTHING.” It is very painful to be misunderstood, so for that woman, it was the pain of that group, but for some of us it is much more prevelant and constant. Probably the only “group” i am in is my family (kids) (at least half of whom don’t understand me at all either!), and it is scarey to contemplate that my youngest will be gone off to college in another couple years, and then i will really be alone. Fortunately, i am very, very good at procrastinating and NOT contemplating a bleak future.(evenn though the present is bleak enough!) On the bright side, you could say i’m very good at “living in the moment!” Some would call that self-delusional.
    At any rate, that was very sweet what Mr. Albert said. Your mom was lucky to have a kid like you!!
    I agree with Gaynor, too.

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