Posted by: ButterflyMoms | July 13, 2012

When People Don’t Like You…


Hello Beautiful ButterflyMoms,

I truly believe that everything or everyone that enters your life is a sign, a reflection of what you need to “learn” or of what you are putting out. This week I had some very ICKY things happen. Add to that lack of sleep (we had to get up at 3:00am to drive to NY) and it was a RECIPE FOR MAJOR “LEARNING”. (Can you see me with my fingers in the shape of an “L” on my forehead? 😉

When something ICKY happens I used to just shut down, get mad, blame the other person, talk about how unfair this was, etc. You get the idea. I still do that sometimes but it’s for shorter periods because when I NOTICE I’m in that world, I see how very painful it is for me. Pain is a very helpful motivator.

ImageWhen I NOTICE I check in with myself. I often am in situations where I want to be liked. It is a very strange thing for me. When I lived in San Francisco I used to be a pretty good public speaker. I got asked to speak all over the world including Japan, Philippines, Portugal, Israel, Los Angeles, New York and Toronto.

One day I was the keynote speaker for a conference in San Francisco in front of 700 people. Just before the talk the master of ceremonies (M.C.) told me to cut my speech by a third because they had run out of time with the other speakers. I’m not really great about the concept of “time” when I speak because when I speak I lose track it. Well, I guess I cut it too short for their liking.  When it was over I had about 30 people in line who wanted to ask me questions, get autographs or just let me know how much they enjoyed my talk, then the M.C. came over to tell me what a horrible job I had done and what a bad speaker I was. I am sad to admit it but his comments CRUSHED me. I stopped speaking after that in public. Someone had OUTED me. They had seen what I believed deep inside, that I was a bad speaker… at least that was my fear and we all know what FEAR is, right? FEAR is nothing but “FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL”. (Deep breath) Even now it still gets me how I gave my power away like that.

If I look at my whole life so far, I can see that faceless M.C. is a gift to me. Yes, he can also be a curse but there is no helpful lesson in that perspective. It still exists but you can only pick one perspective and I choose to see him as a gift. I find it INCREDULOUS that even though I have met THOUSANDS of people since I interacted with him and he sticks out so prominently. Ahhhh the fear of not being good enough! That wicked saboteur has kept me small for much of my life. It does not make me feel good at all.

So this week someone who is in my life sent me a very angry letter. Let’s call her Alice. I specifically spoke my truth in a way in a letter that ignited her FEAR/ANGER. She lambasted me. Alice called me names. She told me how mean and disgusting I was. Initially it hurt but then I checked in with it and asked what Byron Katie, “Is it true?” Some things were true. Some things belonged to me, most of it belonged to her. Alice was not in a space of listening. When I felt “hurt” by what she wrote, I was also not truly “listening”. I attracted this incident in my life so there is a gift, in fact, I believe the ickier it is the more of a gift it is.

It is important to remember that other people’s happiness is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. Contrary to how most of us were “domesticated” by society it is not our responsibility to make others happy. What I have found is checking in with myself, remembering to nurture myself is fundamental. It’s like building a solid structure, you have to start with the main beam and then go from there. Each one of us is the main beam in our lives. Today as you go about your life, remember to start with you.

Getting rid of what does not feel right/good to you, even though you are supposed to do it, is the first step in a really wonderful life, no matter who likes you or does not. There is YOUR SHIT and THERE SHIT… keep the two separate at all times… and for goodness sakes when you notice your shit… DUMP IT!!!! 😉 (pun intended)

Great big hugs,
Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

 

Take a moment and FEEL YOUR LIFE for a moment. Let the ICKIES fall away. Embrace the love. Forgive yourself for not living the perfect life your mind has tricked you into thinking you should be living. Just be. That is all that is needed for happiness.

ImageWHAT IS BUTTERFLYMOMS?
ButterflyMoms is a community of people who realize they are souls first and human being second. They want to explore more about themselves, to find out what makes them happy and how they can lead a life of purpose. It is simply about FEEDING YOUR SOUL. Although it has the name “MOMS” in the title it is more about being nurturing to your own transformation, as the butterfly is to its own metamorphosis. This community is led by Maria Salomão-Schmidt whose transformation was ignited by the birth and death of her BELOVED thirteen month old daughter Sophia (Sophalicious), the original butterfly.

*Every Thursday Night we have a BUTTERFLYMOMS SOUL SUPPORT GROUP at 783 Washington Street in Holliston, MA at 8pm that feeds your soul. They started after Maria manifested her dream…with the help of Sophia…to be a guest on THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW and every week since she had done the SOUL SUPPORT GROUP on Thursday nights. There was only supposed to be one workshop but people kept asking to be able to come the next week and the next week and the next week until a whole year has gone by!!!!Any questions call my cell at 617.877.3616.

*Every Friday Morning, as a way of honoring her daughter Sophia’s soul, Maria gets up at 4:30-5:00am to write the weekly BUTTERFLYMOMS BLOG. Hundreds of people read it every week to feed their souls. Maria started writing the blog in May 2009 and has written EVERY Friday since. Tell your friends… https://butterflymoms.wordpress.com

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? MORE WAYS TO FEED YOUR SOUL…

√  Next BUTTERFLYMOMS SOUL SUPPORT GROUP is Thursday, July 19th at 8pm. Only four groups left! It is a wonderful way to come learn to feed your magnificent soul!… The ButterflyMoms Soul Support Group grew out of the amazing experience had of being on of THE OPRAH SHOW’s very last guests. Now it’s your turn to come to this safe place where you can work out your blocks and talk about your dreams!!! Held at the offices of Brick House Realty (783 Washington S, Holliston, MA). Plenty of FREE & EASY PARKING in the back lot… and come right in the back entrance. Only $25, or just $20 if pay through Paypal http://bit.ly/mS7c70. RSVPing this time is necessary so we have enough supplies for the surprises that are going to happen! Bring your friends!!!

√  I have space for one more coaching/healing clients. If you are interested send me an email maria @butterflymoms.com

√  Here is the magnificent ButteflyMoms interview on Nancy L. Cantor‘s Dream Factory Television Show… I hope you watch it and that it feeds your soul! ! http://vimeo.com/30095902

√  No ENTREPRENEUR MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE books sold this week. If you have been thinking about starting a business or want to take your business to the next level this is a wonderful way to start. WAY cheaper than going back to school…and very helpful! To feed the soul of a friend buy them a copy by CLICKING HERE NOW… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U.  PLUS each book is personally (and lovingly) autographed.

 

THE BOOK… “Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire”
The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book, MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE… Buy one so you can put your part of the world on the list, like so many other beautiful ButterflyMoms have!

“Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire” BOOKS SOLD INSIDE THE UNITED STATES
CALIFORNIA
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Fullerton 1
Sacramento 1
San Bruno 1
CONNECTICUT
Cromwell 1
Greenwich 1
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Fort Lauderdale 1
GEORGIA
Roswell 1
KENTUCKY
Louisville 1
MAINE
Biddeford 1
MARYLAND
Chestertown 1
MASSACHUSETTS
Ashland 3
Blackstone 2
Bolton 1
Canton 1
Framingham 1
Holliston 17
Hudson 4
Medway 5
Millis 1
Millbury 4
New Bedford 1
North Easton 1
Rutland 1
Sherborn 1
South Grafton 1
Watertown 1
Westborough 1
Wrentham 1
Worcester 3
Wrentham 1
MISSOURI
Lee’s Summit 1
NEW HAMPSHIRE
Laconia 1
NEW YORK
Scarsdale 1
Stony Brook 1
OHIO
Dublin 1
RHODE ISLAND
Newport 1
VERMONT
Waitsville (Mad River Valley) 2
“Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire” BOOKS SOLD OUTSIDE UNITED STATES
AUSTRIA
Wien 2
IRELAND
Dublin, Ireland 1
ITALY
Rome, Italy 3
JAPAN
Tokyo  1
PORTUGAL
Santa Maria (Azores/Açores)  1
SCOTLAND
Greenock 1
SPAIN
Madrid 1
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*To buy your copy Click now… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U
REMEMBER…
*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!
*Share the ButterflyMoms blog with your beloved friends! Spread the love… https://butterflymoms.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. You Know it as well as i do,,You can’t make everyone love you,,But you can try !!! I have had the same happen to me ! I had a guy at a local bar tell me something to my face that was not even remotely near the truth about what happen…But he was convinced he knew the whole story…I took the blame for what i knew was my fault and told him the rest of it was up to him to deal with…No one is perfect in this world and we all make mistakes or say or do things we should not of…but as long as we learn from it,,,that’s all that matters.. Never stop being who you are for anybody !! I know i Love you Maria !!

  2. You are one of my beams…great blog

  3. Oh Maria! This is such a great reminder today! Thank you! Shine on!

  4. Well said, Maria! This has happened to everyone at some point & we can remind ourselves that we needn’t be crushed or give into the FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real–love this!). Wouldn’t it be great if we gave all the positive messages the same weight in our minds!!! It’s worth noting that shifting our thinking takes practice, so we need to be kind & forgiving of ourselves when we stumble into this trap. And compassionate of others who are on their own journey. We are all works in progress! 🙂


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