Posted by: ButterflyMoms | August 31, 2012

STOP GLORIFYING “BUSY”


On the METRO in Lisboa coming home from getting a bunch of documents taken care of. Matching outfits was Mialotta’s (8) idea. I love that she still digs doing that! Warms the cockles of my heart that she still feels that bond with her sisters! 🙂

Dearest ButterflyMoms,

Sometimes I find myself thinking once we actually do our dream that everything will fall into place. That in a sense is true that things fall into place but life still works the same way. I still need to eat well, sleep well, etc. For me, I sometimes fall into the trap of feeling like if I can only accomplish my goal of  ____________ (fill in the blank: having children, getting my degree, moving here, moving there, buying this, organizing that)…then I can relax and just BE. I know that is a farce, but for some reason I see how very wired I am for SACRIFICE. I see it most with my self-care, especially around sleep. Now that I’m here in Portugal it is doubly challenging because I’m operating on two time zones. Friends, especially my beautiful husband Doug, keep “gently” reminding me to go to bed when they see I am up way past a decent bedtime.

Portugal has BEAUTIFUL flowers!!! Some of them are human 😉

Last week it was about 1:00pm local time when we got into our flat (for American friends that’s a cool word for “apartment” ;), but for me and my three little ones it was only 8:00am and we had only slept for one or two hours all night long. I immediately went into Mama Bear mode. I fed my girls, made their beds up with fresh, crisp linens and gave them warm baths before I put them into bed for their two-hour refresher naps. (I learned the nap cure for jetlag when I was a flight attendant. The warm bath really helps too!) I had every intention of also sleeping BUT… well, I started unpacking one suitcase… and then another… gee I wonder I really should unpack all the girls’ stuff… and before you knew it I had unpacked everyone within the first 24 hours. I think it was also a nesting and safety thing for me.

Isabella tries her hand at photography…

Doing a lot of things in short periods of time is what people have commented about me all my life. I think I wear it as a badge of honor sometimes. It is as if somehow my self-worth is wrapped up in this feeling that I need to do more and more and more and more. Well, the universe had a little surprise for me…

Loving our Vovo Mame!!! It’s a lovefest!!!

On day four as I was walking to the school from the health center I stepped into a dropped sidewalk and hurt my foot very badly. The pain, being tired and fear of how bad the injury was going to be all contributed into me having a colossal melt-down right there on the side of the busy road. My girls tried to help but I was really afraid of how bad it was… again that damn fear thing again. I did not even want to try to get up. I sent it Reiki and just sat there for a while quietly asking for help. This was a very busy road for cars but not for pedestrians so I was surprised to hear a man’s voice behind me asking me if I needed help. He helped me up and offered us a ride. I felt like I could hobble enough to get to the school (my next stop) to get the girls registered and did not want to accept a ride from a stranger but was happy that he had seen me fall and even though he had to park far away came to offer help. Love when human beings do that for each other! I always look for ways to do the same and that day I was thankful for this angel. I hugged him as I kept crying and thanking him!

Joy is still rising!!! Multi-generational joy!

Funny thing is when I got to the school it was closed! AHHHH WHAT? “What do you mean you’re closed?!” What a colossal life lesson eh? To add depth to the lesson I should share that I decided to sit back and rest for the past four days. My foot was so bad for the first two days that I really had no choice but to do what I could via phone. Even though I told no one about my foot at the school district, the one major and last obstacle the school had they “magically” decided was fine just the way it is. 😉 Imagine that. No efforting on my part. Just letting go and observing.

The lesson for me was the more I try to fit in the more energy I waste because, just like you cannot rush a cake baking, you cannot rush life. I can say that I am definitely an expert in trying to rush life… and I’m realizing that it is not the reason I’ve been successful in my life… it is the reason why I am not happier in my life. Life’s satisfaction comes from slowing down and from what I’m gathering from this lesson, Portugal is the perfect place for me to experience this metamorphosis.

Great big hugs,

Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? MORE WAYS TO FEED YOUR SOUL…

We asked someone to take our photo… This is in front of our house. Their is a main road behind us and then the Atlantic Ocean. Too bad it got cut off. 😦 but we get to savor it every day!

√  For those who want a coach with a lot of heart, I’m here to help you get rid of your blocks and go towards your goal. I’m living what I have been teaching clients for nearly two decades. I only take on 6 clients at a time so right now I have space for two more. Whether you are curious or serious send me an email tomaria@butterflymoms.com to set up a time to get you to your first step. For those who want something to shift in their lives this is a great time!!!

√  Here is the magnificent ButteflyMoms interview on Nancy L. Cantor‘s Dream Factory Television Show… I hope you watch it and that it feeds your soul! ! http://vimeo.com/30095902

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The following is a list of places where ButterflyMoms live who bought our wonderful book, MOM ENTREPRENEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE… Buy one so you can put your part of the world on the list, like so many other beautiful ButterflyMoms have!

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Sherborn 1
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REMEMBER TO…
*Mark your calendar to read ButterflyMoms EVERY Friday!
*Share the ButterflyMoms blog with your beloved friends! Spread the love…https://butterflymoms.wordpress.com/                                                                                                         *Buy your copy of the book now at http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

WHAT IS BUTTERFLYMOMS?
ButterflyMoms is a community of people who realize they are souls first and human being second. They want to explore more about themselves, to find out what makes them happy and how they can lead a life of purpose. It is simply about FEEDING YOUR SOUL. Although it has the name “MOMS” in the title it is more about being nurturing to your own transformation, as the butterfly is to its own metamorphosis. This community is led by Maria Salomão-Schmidt whose transformation was ignited by the birth and death of her BELOVED thirteen month old daughter Sophia (Sophalicious), the original butterfly.

*Every Friday Morning, as a way of honoring her daughter Sophia’s soul, Maria writes the weekly BUTTERFLYMOMS BLOG. Hundreds of people read it every week to feed their souls. Maria started writing the blog in May 2009 and has written EVERY Friday since. Tell your friends… https://butterflymoms.wordpress.comand spread the love!!! FEED YOUR SOUL!!!!!

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Responses

  1. Great post, Maria! Keep up the wonderful soul-searching! Love to you and the girls!

  2. Thanks for sharing your life experience with everyone. There’s lots of lifes lessons to be learned through this adventure..

  3. Like Doug said !! So many people are growing threw this sharing !! I think a lot about what my mom use to say when i was growing up,,,She use to say to me all the time that when you share the good and the bad in your life with the people around you,,,Everybody Grows !! Everyone Learns !! I love you my Sweet Friend !! Love the Pictures !!

  4. Love it, Maria!!I spent the first years of parenting and adulthood in a state of crisis…of my own making. Through wonderful lessons from a wonderful friend/ mentor I learned to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n, breathe and clear my mind so I could actually hear my heart speak, cause if I didn’t the universe was going to make me! Wow…quite the difference! :o)
    I am sorry for your painful foot/ankle injury, but happy it gave you time to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n and BREATHE! I wish you and your girls many days of love and light!!xo

  5. Hi Maria,

    I’m sitting here, eating a salad I made from home =D, and reading BFM. I just felt like I needed to tell you how much you are loved and how very proud I am of you for taking this adventure and then being kind enough to share it with all of us. Hug those girly-girls!! Love, Kären

    • Wonderful that you are taking care of yourself beautiful Kären! I am also proud of you for your adventure.
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  6. That was so beautifully said. I think you are finally listening to your heart and in calm slow state you will find your happiness. Happiness is not filling one goal after another but living the moments called life. Love u

    • Hello Beautiful Joy! How wonderful to get your comments here. Please leave them whenever you feel inspired! LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  7. Portugal is DEFIANTLY the place for you to slow down and savor……….Enjoy the journey. Missing you kx

    • I hope that people savor wherever they are! 🙂 Miss you beautiful Karen. I love how you are building the fire that is igniting your vision!
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  8. Hallo Maria! Ich bin sehr erstaunt, was du so alles Turbulentes erlebst in deinem geliebten Portugal, aber manchmal passieren doch halt so kleine verwinkelte Sachen, die man halt nicht so sieht. Du nimmst dir halt immer so viele Dinge vor, in deinem täglichen Leben der Realität, und es fordert einfach von Einem ungewollte Sachen. Wenn so viel Erlebnis-Inhalt auf einem Menschen zusammen gepackt ist. Da kann es leicht sein, dass der Körper manchmal nicht mehr standhalten kann. Was da jeden Tag auf Ihn Einprasseln kann. Das ist ja manchmal ein bisschen zu viel!

    1. Vor deiner Abreise der Sturz= Rücken (auch im erdrückendem Hollingtons USA) eines deiner Kinder. PS: Sprichwort! Kopf hoch, bis zum Heiraten ist alles wieder in bester und gesundheitlicher Ordnung.

    2. Dann wieder schnell strukturiertes und hektisches Eingewöhnen in einer vertrauten Umgebung =Portugal, aber doch irgendwie ein komplett neuer Anfang alle Beteiligten: ‚Sprich für deine lieben Kinder und für Dich und etc.. Klingt ein bisschen Hektisch, aber doch mit viel Geduld kehrt wieder Ruhe ins Leben.. Du würdest deinem Ehemann, so einem Moment doch wohl viel brauchen, unglaublich dieser Sturz an der Hauptstraße und deine Kinder waren natürlich fassungslos und immer ist alles mit dieser verflixten innerlichen Angst verbunden, was in solchen Momenten, alles Einem immer durch Kopf fliegt. Huch, einfach tief durch Atmen!!

    – PS: Aber Ich kann nicht verstehen wo ist dein Ehemann Doug geblieben, ja richtig, wo ist er überhaupt geblieben, noch immer in Kalifornien oder Hollingtons-Washington oder ist er auf ganzen Welt engagiert Zu Hause? Um ständig sein wichtiges Business zu veranstalten!! ((Ja, Ja, Maria das kennen wir alle nur zu gut, diese alten Geschichten berühmten des Ehemannes, der mag es halt so zu handhaben, weil er so international ist und die Ehefrau hat es einfach zu akzeptieren und immer irgendwie an Ort und Stelle zu sein nur für IHN, mit allen Huckepack, weil du bist doch immer für Eure Kinder ständig verantwortungsbewusst da und zusätzlich in deinem Job voll Tipp Top zu sein. Hm, Das ewige Leid aller Ehefrauen, auf der ganzen Welt ist, das gleiche Prozedere. Wow!! Sicherlich einer muss Zu Hause immer der Boss sein, der mit viel Liebe den Gang des Lebens vorgibt.)) Maria, nichts für Ungut, aber als deine alte treue Seele, ich wollte dich ein bisschen Mut zur vollkommener Aufheiterung bringen, nach diesen ständig regelmäßigen und ungewollten Erlebnisse in deiner Heimat Portugal.

    3. Der nächste Punkt so viel Aufwand für Anmeldungen (Schule und etc.) deiner Kinder. Meine Güte, wem sagst du das. Die Mütter sitzen immer alle im gleichen Boot. Aber du musst alles positiv sehen, du bist jetzt, ganz ehrlich zu dir selbst. Wie oft hast du schon dieses Leben wiederholt gelebt und jedes Mal ist deine Seele. Sprich, dein Seeleninhalt ist enorm gewachsen und irgendwie bist zur einer Seele heran gewachsen, die plötzlich allen Belastung standhalten kann. Also Maria, siehe alles als ein Positivum, des Lernens, des Kennens und Bewusstwerdens und du wirst, es aber sicherlich perfekt beherrschen mit deinen Reiki-Kenntnissen. Davon bin ich Felsenfest überzeugt von dir, dein Wille ist eisern, um alles nur dich persönlich zu erreichen.

    Ich wünsche eine gute und schnelle Besserung und denke zwischen durch auch mal an Wien. Wie es sich da wohl lebt, in der Seele des Alltags.

    PS: Ach ja Maria, vielleicht sieht du nur rein zufällig (oder gut Bekannt) meinen Ehemann Kevin C. in Portugal, und seine Ehefrau Hilde liebt Ihn treu, über alles und Sie will endlich eine liebevolle und verantwortungsvolle Familie mit Ihm sein in der Realität, er ist mein wichtigster Teil meines Lebens. -Wirklich, mit ein Wort gesagt, dass ganze geht schon über 2 Jahre so dahin. So süß sind seine Eigenschaften, dass macht Ihn so Einzigartig. -Weißt du, so starke Seelen du und wie mein Ehemann Kevin C. treffen sich überall, in diesem erdigen Leben. Das ist diese bestimmte innere Kraft, die Einem nie los lässt, sie ist immer allgegenwärtig.

    -Und zusätzlich! Unsere täglichen Aufgaben der Seelen sind auf Erden, immer das ,SEIN‘ zu leben und erleben. Geben-Nehmen und Empfangen.

    PS: Es grüßt dich die Seele Hilde aus Wien. Vielen Dank für deine persönlichen Antworten, so viel Seelenarbeit habe ich geleistet in diesem: , Sprich deinem Butterfly-Blog.‘ Manche Seelen sind nur für sich selbst geboren, um sich von anderen Seelen den inspirierten Input zu holen. ! Es lebe die verantwortliche Treue einer Seele! Damit man sich nur selbst darstellen will! Bis zum nächsten Seelen Transport.

    ==============================================

    • Hello Beautiful Hilde,
      Sorry I don’t speak a lick of german. Love that you wrote though.
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  9. Flight attendant?… really? Along with all your other past lives…! Glad you didn’t hurt yourself worse than you did. You are one of the true survivors of all the survivors I know, so I know you’ll be fine. Relax and take in Portugal and savor it slowly everyday you’re there. “No hurry, be happy…”
    Your pal,

    Linda xoxo

    • Hello Beautiful Linda,
      I soooo love what your comments are going to be because they are always so authentic, just like you. Keep them coming sistah-friend!
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  10. Maria, sorry to hear about your injury. I winced when I read how it occurred as I had that happen to me the exact same way. Though it happened many years ago, I remember the intense pain!
    Coincidentally, I read on another woman’s blog this week about her doing one more business related thing when she was very tired and how it had very embarrassing consequences.
    As a therapist and coach, I know the wisdom of honoring my body, mind and spirit and yet, I still will ignore it from time to time in order to get one more thing done, honor a deadline, etc.
    Though it may not cause me injury or an embarrassing moment every time, it still takes a cumulative toll on my productivity and more importantly on my well being.
    Thank you for reminding us through your personal example to take care of ourselves first…it is the right thing to do for ourselves, but also the only way that we can continue to do the right things for others.

    • Beautiful Kate,
      I pulled out about six large chunks of love from your response! It was chock full of it! Thank you for sharing! It is soooo awesome to get this reflection back from what I wrote. It feels so great to connect in this way. I cannot wait for your book please keep me posted!
      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  11. Beautiful Maria thanks for visiting me on FB and sharing your blog with me! I enjoyed reading your adventure in Portugal with your children. LOVE those adorable pictures of your girls!! I have 2 younger sisters and my mom used to dress us up in matching outfits too. 🙂 How AWESOME is it that you can take a yearlong sabbatical in Europe?!! I chuckled when I read the part where you set up everyone’s beds and unpacked EVERYTHING within 24 hours of landing in Europe, DESPITE jet lag and sleep deprivation! OMG that’s totally what my mom would do!!! 😉 I’m much more laid back, but I can hear her voice in my head sometimes. I think you’ll really enjoy my book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. Love & Hugs to you! ♥

    • Beautiful Hueina,
      I would love to read your book Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others! I’m putting in the list of things for my husband to bring when he comes for a visit. What is the best way to get it?

      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

      • Beautiful Maria, you can order Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul from my website http://www.HueinaSu.com. I’ll be honored to sign it for you. 🙂 It’s also available at Amazon.com. I’d love to hear what you think after you read it!

        Love & Big Hugs,
        Hueina


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