Posted by: ButterflyMoms | February 15, 2013

WHEN PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO YOU…


IMG_0560Eileen, Maria and Little Red Riding HoodDearest ButterflyMoms,

Thank you for coming into the ButterflyMoms blog and feeding your soul! GREAT TO HAVE YOU HERE! I’ve been hitting a few bumps these last few weeks and during the last three days I’ve noticed some serious ones that have caused me to question how EXPOSED I am in the world.

You see, from my parents I learned to STAND UP for those who cannot stand up for themselves and for the things that are important to me. That seems like a slam dunk, but oftentimes it is not. In general, others in our society want to keep us small, and this week I realized why many people do play it small.

It can be heart-breaking when you speak from your heart, yet someone still feels threatened and attacks. This week that came from someone I was building a professional relationship with. I posted something on Facebook that was not to this person’s liking and received severe accusations of my character and intentions, and an immediate end to our relationship.

Doug, Maria with Mame in her kitchenToday at the grocery store, one of the registers opened up so I wheeled up to it. There was a woman behind me who angrily huffed and went to a smaller line. While in line I saw a man looking around to see if anyone was looking and then dumped a dirty tissue on the floor. I called him on it. The lady next to him immediately attacked me because she said I had cut her in line and used this opportunity of the tissue to side with him and slam me. I tried to apologize to calm her down and explain my intention, but she was late for work and it became obvious that someone had to pay.  (A funny cultural side note, All three of us were speaking in really high voices and our arms animatedly moving about. That is pretty normal for a situation like this in Portugal, but if this were in America people watching this would have thought we were going to fight! Thinking about this now makes me giggle. Gotta love cultural differences!)

All these events stuffs can easily bring me into POOR ME mode. From a very early age I just wanted people to like me. I thought I had nipped that in the bud but this week I was proven wrong. I go over these events over and over and ask what the message is. Was I a jerk? Was I appropriate?

As for the colleague, in the first story I mentioned, I believe I simply stood up for something that is not popular but that I believe in my heart needs to stood up for. The fact that it makes her feel uncomfortable that people even bring up the subject is not mine to own. Know what is your shit and what is not. This is not my shit, but when the second incident happened today I had to ask why I am attracting this ICKY channel shit. It does not feel good and makes me want to run out of the store crying.

IMG_1798In the second situation I can see that I was putting my SHOULDs on someone else on one level because I was telling the man he should not drop his dirty tissue. That comes from the part of me that believes that we are all accountable to each other and our earth. Dropping a tissue is not something that fits the greater good. This one I am conflicted on. That is MY belief and obviously not his. Do I really have a right to say, “DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE POLLUTING?”

The last one of the lady in line I am not conflicted on because it is clear that it’s her stuff. I was in front of her when they opened the new line. I understand that she was just frustrated with the long lines when she was late for work, and took it out on me. I sent love and blessings for all three of those people, especially the lady who was late for work. It is an act of forgiveness, which Oprah Winfrey defines at letting go of the idea that the past will be different. These things happened and I am letting them go.

When I went on Facebook today I noticed that my favorite quote is on my main page, “Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.” I see that this is a lesson that is coming up for me. These three people and incidents, even though they felt really ICKY are all gifts. They are all reminders to protect my energy and not let other people’s reactions affect my mood or well-being.

I invite you to notice the people in your life who you are trying to please when it is their issue, not yours. Break that energy drain and feel how good it feels!

We need our energy to accomplish our life’s mission. It begins right now! I send you much love in letting go.

Great big hugs,

Mariaaaaaaaaaa

🙂

1 stuckWHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? MORE WAYS TO FEED YOUR SOUL TO START 2013 OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT!…

√  REIKI 1 WORKSHOP: I’m teaching Reiki 1 in Cascais, Portugal (Feb 16 & Feb 23 10:00-2:30). Cost is only €130, includes materials, Reiki 1 certification and attunement. Class size limited and will fill up very quickly so if interested email me at maria@butterflymoms.com.de Arcos, 2770-210 Paço de Arcos, Portugal. Fee is 25€ at door. Sign up right now and get in for only 20€. Do it here…http://tinyurl.com/cslw7l4. See you there!!!!! Please RSVP so we can plan accordingly.

 

√  COACHING: For those who want a coach with a lot of heart, I’m here to help you get rid of your blocks and go towards your goal. I’m living what I have been teaching clients for nearly two decades. Whether you are curious or serious send me an email to maria@butterflymoms.com to set up a time to get you to your first step. For those who want something to shift in their lives this is a great time!!!

 

√  INTERVIEW: Here is the magnificent ButteflyMoms interview on Nancy L. Cantor‘s Dream Factory Television Show… I hope you watch it and that it feeds your soul! ! http://vimeo.com/30095902

 

√ BOOKS FOR SALE: “Mom Entrepreneur Extraordinaire” See list below for all the places in the world where this book has been sold! Last year I co-authored the book ENTREPRENEUR MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE. If you have been thinking about starting a business or want to take your business to the next level this is a wonderful way to start. WAY cheaper than going back to school…and very helpful! To feed the soul of a friend, buy them a copy by CLICKING HERE NOW… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U.  Feel part of the magic below and see where in the world people have bought this book…

Buy the book and support two people's dreams! :)

Buy the book and support two people’s dreams! 🙂

BOOKS SOLD INSIDE THE UNITED STATES

CALIFORNIA
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San Bruno 1

CONNECTICUT
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FLORIDA
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Seminole 1

GEORGIA
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ILLINOIS

Lake Forrest 1

KENTUCKY
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MARYLAND
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MASSACHUSETTS
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Bolton 1
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Millis 1
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Rutland 1
Sherborn 1
South Grafton 1
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Wrentham 1
Worcester 3

MISSOURI
Lee’s Summit 1

NEW HAMPSHIRE
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NEW YORK
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OHIO
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RHODE ISLAND
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VERMONT
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BOOKS SOLD OUTSIDE UNITED STATES

AUSTRIA
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JAPAN
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To buy your copy Click now… http://bit.ly/gRxe4U

 

My cousin Cristina and my girls... ;)

My cousin Cristina and my girls… 😉

WHAT IS BUTTERFLYMOMS?
ButterflyMoms is a community of people who realize they are souls first and human being second. They want to explore more about themselves, to find out what makes them happy and how they can lead a life of purpose. It is simply about FEEDING YOUR SOUL. Although it has the name “MOMS” in the title it is more about being nurturing to your own transformation, as the butterfly is to its own metamorphosis. This community is led by Maria Salomão-Schmidt whose transformation was ignited by the birth and death of her BELOVED thirteen month old daughter Sophia (Sophalicious), the original butterfly.

*Every Friday Morning, as a way of honoring her daughter Sophia’s soul, Maria writes the weekly BUTTERFLYMOMS BLOG. Hundreds of people read it every week to feed their souls. Maria started writing the blog in May 2009 and has written EVERY Friday since. Maria is a Reiki master and every time you read it you are showered with healing love.  Tell your friends… https://butterflymoms.wordpress.com and spread the love!!! FEED YOUR SOUL!!!!!

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Responses

  1. These “issues” are an almost daily conflict, not only with these people but with yourself. You’re smart to just cut it and move forward. You are doing great and how you dealt with each of these situations is awesome. As Nemo says, just keep swimming.

  2. I can relate to this situation and sympathise with your frustration. When I first arrived in Portugal I was so annoyed when someone was rude or, like the gentleman, who dumped the tissue on the floor, once I made a man pick up a can a coke he just discarded on the street. You could image the “fight” I had with him, hands and arms all over the place (a Portuguese thing). But, as time went on, I learned that they knew no better and become more tolerant towards situations like these. That doesn´t mean that I just ignore it! I don´t! But I now go out there without screaming or kicking anyone, or breaking down in tears. Some days the small victories are all I achieve, and those are the greatest victories for me!
    Send you much love and happiness!

  3. Yet another wonderful blog hitting right at the heart.

    • Love hearing from you! Thanks for your comments beautiful Karen!

      Great big hugs,
      Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaa
      🙂

  4. Lieber Butterfly!! Vielen herzlichen Dank fuer deine ruehrenden Geschichten vom letzten Freitag. Ich kann nicht verstehen, wie du wirklich auf solche Ereignisse jede Woche kommen kannst. Wirklich!! Es folgt dir wie, ein fliessender Strom eines bestimmten Flusses__________. Du bist nur die „Eine“ wundervolle Seele die immer alles mit viel Herz aus deinem innerem Wesen herauskommt. Nichts desto trotz! Es ruehrt in meinem Herzen herum mit vollen Einfuehlungsvermoegen und ebenso teile ich diese Situation und kann dein Unwohlsein von diesen ausergewoehnlichen Ereignissen, gut nachvollziehen.

    Was will man sagen, es kommt ja gar nicht so wenig in unserem „alltaeglichen Leben vor“. Dieser bestimmte verlaessliche blonde Junge der irdischen Erde!!!

    Woow. Jetzt, muss man einfach tief durchatmen und dann geht es schon wieder einiger Massen in einem liebevollen ertraeglichen Zustand weiter. Man hat soviel dazu gelernt, dass er es nicht besser wusste und sich verantwortlich gegenüber dieser Situationen wie diese (____________„ruehende Geschichte des Behandelns und Benehmens, was ihm am meisten Wert war und ist“ ________________>) nie eine reale Zeit fuer Sie zu finden. PS: Ich will damit sagen es gibt sehr viele Arten „des Behandelns und des Benehmens“ und es klingt so ruehrend und auch sehr Herz zerreissend. Sich so eigenartig zu Benehmen ist wirklich wunderlich! Er hat nie einen Mut, einem realen Schritt fuer Sie zu tun! Vor allem wenn dieses Maedchen, sehr viel von sich Selbst gegeben hat, mit grosser Treue, sie hat versucht ihm einen neuen stabilen und einfachen Sinn des Lebens zu geben.

    Doch das der blonde Junge hat noch immer keinen Wert gefunden, dieses wertvollste Maedchen der irdischen Erde, jemals live zu besuchen und ernsthafte Plaene zu besprechen.

    !!Man sagt so unter uns Seelen!! LG aus Wien Hilde (*-*)

  5. Lieber Butterfly!!

    Halli Hallo!! Immer verspaetet aber verlaesslich in der Seele!! Eine kleines klares Vorwoertchen fuer deine_________). Aha, erfoglreiche Leute und ein erfolgreiches Unternehmen , alle wissen wie der Erfolg zu tun ist. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ja! ((Ich erinnere mich so gut!! Es gibt recht viele Menschen, die anderen alles diplomatisch Verhindern wollen einer mit Zwangisolierung, ueber den anderen Verfuegen wollen und sich nicht herzlich real einsetzen, Besitztum des anderen betrieben, damit kein Fortschreiten erzielt werden kann.)) Das muss eine richtige und echte Liebe sein zum Naechsten sein. Geniale liebevolle Handlung!!

    Dann muss es dieser liebevolle „blonde Junge“ wohl am Besten wissen.____________( Endlich seine verantwortliche Pflicht zu tun, gegenueber seinem wertvollsten Maedchen der irdischen Erde, was er versprochen hat und sie verbringt sehr viel Zeit nur fuer Ihn, dass er endlich ernsthaft alles in realitisch Bewegung setzt. Und Nicht!! Sie soll warten und warten, bis der grosse blonde Junge endlich bereit ist etwas realitisch zu tun. Es ist sehr leicht sich hier zu stellen und noch zu sagen mit dem Titel: “Es ist zu spaet fuer dich!“ Wie herzlich ruehrend, hoeflich und Herzzereissend!! Ich weiss nicht wie: „Wieviel dieser blonde Junge Zeit fuer dieses wertvollste Maedchen der irdischen Erde vergehen laesst. Es ist erstaunlich! (*-*) Meine eigene Devise ist immer so: Einfach im inneren Wesen sein, klar sein, kurz sein, direkte live Kontakte reflektieren und alle verlaesslichen Dinge die versprochen worden sind, detailiert real um zusetzen, einzuhalten und life harmonisch zusammen sitzen. Ohne eine Menge von konstanten Chaos zu erzeugen!! Alles Live zu fuehlen!!

    Nochmals ganz zu reflektieren fuer diesen blonden Jungen: Das Problem ist nicht dieses wertvolle Maedchen der Erde, nein, nein, sondern absoluter („Er“), dieser blonde Junge!! Er duerfte dieses konstante Chaos staendig zu erzeugen! Vielleicht will er einfach nichts fuer Sie tun und erzeugt immer diese staendigen Ausreden. Er liebt chaostische Situationen! Einfache und klare Situationen duerften ihm ein „Fremdwort sein.“ Doch das wertvolle Maedchen liebt, einfach klare direkte Stituationen, wo man sofort erkennen kann, was zu tun ist in realen Leben, damit die beiden zusammen arbeiten, gluecklich und zufrieden sein koennen. Wer kompliziert denkt, handelt und benimmt: „Der wird nie Wissen, wie Schoen sein kann einfach zu sein und alles kann von leichter Hand, Herz und Seele gehen.

    Da fliegt mir ganz spontan dieses Kinderkonzept in meinen Sinn! ((Ich liebe und schaetze das alte Kinderkonzept:“ Sie sind, einfach vom Wesen und sie wollen alles einfach, alles klar, einfaches direktes handeln, einfaches, warmes, korrektes liebevolles Benehmen und einen festen vertrauten Lebenspartner, der sie richtig fuehrt, sie live sehen und sprechen will.)) Ein einfaches Kinderkonzept, aber es funktioniert wunderbar ohne kompliziert zu sein.

    In der Tat man wird erschoepft, wenn der „Eine“ sich treu aufopfert und sein fast ganzes Leben nur ihn aufgegegen hat, um ein gemeinsames Ziel des treuen Zusammenlebens zu erzielen und der „andere Partner“ nichts realtisches tut fuer dieses Maedchen__________(.

    Woow. Jetzt, muss man einfach tief durchatmen!! Man sagt so unter uns Seelen!! Lg aus Wien Hilde


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